Natick Preschool

Here is a sample of the backpack routine at school:

-Every morning, children take off their backpacks, unzip their backpacks, and take out their red folders and snacks.

-At the end of the day, children put their red folders and snack in their backpacks, zip them up, and put on their backpacks.

NOTE: -These tasks are done as independently as possible, with teachers working this routine side-by-side with your children, narrating the sequence or providing visual clues for the next step. This supported repetition and practice enables the child to commit the steps and the motions to memory, leading to greater independence.

Here is how you can build on this routine before and after school:

-Identify a spot somewhere between their carseat and well before the school door (the corner of the building, the car, the bike rack, the yellow square in the sidewalk, etc.) to have them put on their backpack. If you are carrying it for them, you can guide them to ask you for the backpack when you get to the spot (rather than you telling them to put it on e.g. stop at the spot and say, “What happens here?” or “What do you need before you go into school?”).

-Use this same spot as the place where they take off the backpack after school. Encourage them to keep their backpack on until they get to the spot. Then they can either hand you the backpack or indicate, verbally or with gestures, they need help taking it off.

-If your child has mastered both of the above, you can extend further by asking them to retrieve the backpack from a storage spot at home, unzip it, add the lunch or snack and return it to the storage spot after school, then unzip, take out the snack/lunch container and place it on the kitchen counter.

You will be amazed as the year progresses, so will their ability to assume responsibility for the backpack for more and more steps beyond school. Any parent of a middle schooler will assure you that the repetition and practice you put in with these routines now will save you many reminders as kids get older.

Robert Glazer, author of Elevate, summarizes the benefits of similar structures in his online newsletter:

“Last month I had the opportunity to interview one of my favorite authors, Angela Duckworth, on the Elevate Podcast.

Duckworth is a professor at the Wharton School, CEO of Character Lab and the New York Times bestselling author of Grit. She’s the world’s top expert on subject of grit, which she defines as the combination of passion and perseverance in pursuit of a long-term goal.

As we discussed building grit in work and life, the conversation moved to parenting. I’ve written previously about the concept of snowplow parenting, an increasingly common style of parenting where parents proactively clear all obstacles from their children’s lives to give them an easier path. It would stand to reason that this method of parenting is not conducive to building grit, so I naturally asked Duckworth for her thoughts on the subject.

Duckworth revealed that there is actually a research-supported conclusion about the best style of parenting, regardless of cultural background. This style is also particularly useful in helping children develop grit and prepare for future adversity.

Duckworth explained three key characteristics to this parenting approach.

1. Warmth: A parent who has their kids’ best interest at heart, is kind and whose children believe that the parent is invested in their best interests.

2. Autonomy Support: A parent who helps a child become independent and who respects their decisions and opinions, even when they don’t agree with them.

3. Demanding: A parent who has high standards for their kids, and often raises those standards as they mature.

While snowplow parents often are strong in the first characteristic, they don’t possess the second or third. Many parents today constantly interfere to solve problems for the kids, rather than giving them the autonomy to solve their own problems and holding them to a high standard.

As a result, children of snowplow parents generally don’t develop the skills needed to overcome adversity...and demonstrate diminished self-confidence and increased dependency.”

Quote of the Week:

“Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.” – Author Unknown