Your "We Can" Weekend Has Arrived

This one is for the Pyrotechnicians

Everyday I'm hustlin'

"Yo Fog's-I get bummed out when I read your e-mails. I WORK WEEKENDS!"

Pish-Posh I say! Even if you work weekends you MUST have off during the week. You must, you must! And unless you're grinding 7 day's a week it might just be time to make your own weekend. It doesn't matter if it's not Saturday or Sunday. If your work week comes to an end..IT'S A WEEKEND (And my apologies for not sending this to you Tuesday).

"Weekends are for being weird and blowing stuff up."

-Henry Ford

And we have an absolutely HUGE weekend coming up where we get to do both!

So let's Roll

Let's start off..

Let me start off by saying don't ever work too hard..
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And if you do..

And if you do make sure you take the time to unwind. Cheat meal, glass of wine, or keg on the roof..Your call. You have to chillax at some point.
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The countdown

So the countdown began years ago.."When's the next time the 4th of July falls on a Saturday?"

2015! BOOOM...POW....KAZAM!

And now we're within 30 days. We need to prep ourselves folks.

"The weekends of June are simply to prepare us for an ultimate 4th of July "We Can" weekend."

-American Television Journalist, Matt Lauer

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Get Some:

So, we all know it's as easy as pie to rent a car, borrow an E-Z pass in a friends name, jump on the Cross Island over the Throggs Neck, hit the GW and head up I-80 West to PA and hit Marshall's Creek fireworks outlet..... Common Sense

We also know to ask for a guy name Reuben and tell him you want the "Sweet Nectar" package in order to get the really good stuff nobody else knows about (he'll also help you 'discretely' pack it in the car so it can't be found on the drive home)...Another no-brainer.

So the real question here then is this:

"How many explosives can you set off from now until the 4th of July and STILL have a good showing on the big night?"

Let's take a look.

Top Ten Fireworks Fails

Let's do The Math

Let's take a look at this question with a real life example.

Example Problem:

Mathew Hauser has recently spent his weekly allowance on bottle rockets. With this money he purchased 100 bottle rockets for the 4th of July. Being an antsy juvenile, Hauser wants to light these rockets everyday from now until we celebrate America's Independence. If there are 30 days left until the 4th of July, how many bottle rockets can Hauser blow up per day and still have at least half remaining for the 4th of July?

Plug It In

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So what's your take?

So what do we get from this?

Two things really:

1. Shooting off 1.6 bottle rockets per day is not enough.

2. Hauser needs to get a real job and spend more money on fireworks.

(That would be the answer for common core. Otherwise it's 1.6 because it's math)

Practice Makes Perfect

3 things we should be doing and perfecting on the weekend as we get closer to 4th of July:


Lighting fireworks


Remember Uncle Sam Wants you....

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Remember 1-80 West and ask for Reuben

Joe Dirt Fireworks Stand Scene.

Don't find yourself in this situation