By Jack Cheng
What are marshmallows?
Every day, marshmallows face abuse by drowning in hot chocolate, being roasted over fires, impaled on pointy sticks, and crushed by graham crackers. Wait, I don't think marshmallows have souls.
(Except for Kirby, maybe)
Oh well, I didn't think anyone actually had the nerve to eat a pillow.
Here are the types of marshmallows.
How to Make Smores
Just kidding, there's no such thing as a professional smore maker.
Though I wish there was.
I'm just gonna go cry in this corner now.
STEP 1 : Get marshmallows, chocolate, and a graham cracker.
STEP 2 : Throw them away. You don't need them.
STEP 3 : I lied. You definitely need them.
STEP 4 : Too late, the garbage truck came.
STEP 5 : What a waste of food.
STEP 6 : Try eating spaghetti instead.
STEP 7 : You're out of spaghetti.
STEP 8 : Question why you're spending so much time making instructions on how to make smores.
STEP 9 : Lose sanity.
STEP 10 : Repeat process.
Here's the history of marshmallows.
Cumuli. "Substituting Marshmallows and Marshmallow Creme." ThriftyFun. ThriftyFun, 30 Apr. 2016. Web. 05 May 2016.
Leifer, Charles. "Walrus: Lightweight Python Utilities for Working with Redis."Charles Leifer. Charles Leifer, 11 Jan. 2015. Web. 05 May 2016.
Mitchell, Traci D. "Why I Let My Kids Eat Marshmallows." Why I Let My Kids Eat Marshmallows. Chicago Now, 2016. Web. 05 May 2016.
Nozcego. "The History of Marshmallows." YouTube. YouTube, 12 Sept. 2013. Web. 05 May 2016.
Parrish, Nina, M.Ed. "Marshmallows and the Management of Multiple Tasks." Parrish Learning Zone. Parrish Learning Zone, LLC, 2015. Web. 5 May 2016.