SEL Connections
Online Resources and May Newsletter.11
How to Have a Family Circle
When people come together for restorative interactions they sit in circles. They experience a stronger sense of belonging and community. When you have a family circle together, it is a time to share thoughts, ideas and family concerns.
A Circle should be predictable. Once you know how to work in the circle, it is best to follow the same pattern each time.
- Establish Circle Guidelines (rules and expectations)
- Speak from the heart: your truth, your experiences, your perspectives
- Listen from the heart: let go of stories that make it hard to hear each other
- Trust that you will know what to say: no need to rehearse
- Say just enough: without feeling rushed, be concise and considerate of the time of others
- What happens in the circle, stays in the circle
- Discuss the Family Respect Agreement and Values that you created.
- Address Behavior in the Circle
- Notice good behavior!
- The best way to support positive behavior is to reinforce it by noticing and complimenting those in the circle for behaving appropriately and demonstrating social and emotional skills.
- If you decide that you need to stop or redirect a member of the circle, always explain why you are doing so. Refer to the Family Respect Agreement you created.
- Introduce the Talking Piece
- Explain why that talking piece was chosen.
- Remind everyone that the person holding the talking piece is the only person speaking and the other family members are listening.
- Pass the talking piece around the circle to let everyone have a turn to share as you begin.
- What do we talk about in the circle?
- Opening Round (Choose a way to greet each other when starting the circle, like an ice breaker - Examples HERE) Or You can do a Check-in Round: express how they are feeling on physical, mental or emotional levels at the moment - Name one word describing how you are feeling? If you could be a weather pattern, what pattern would describe how you are feeling right now (today)?)
- Prompt Round 1 (The person leading the circle introduces the prompt for the family to share about. The prompt is related to the purpose of the circle - Examples HERE)
- Prompt Round 2 (The person leading the circle introduces the prompt for the family to share about. The prompt is related to the purpose of the circle - Examples HERE)
- Closure Prompt (What have you learned from this circle? How did this circle make you feel? Ask something that is about their circle experience.)
- Closing Activity (End the circle with a special handshake, dance, song, poem, or something to signify moving back to ordinary time outside the circle.)
What about dialogue if someone gets upset because of something someone did? Refer to the I-Messaging Video.
How often do we do family circles? You can do them once a week, or as often as you would like - Talk to your family and see what is realistic for all to participate consistently.
The story I'm making up...
My emotions...
My thinking...
My body...
My beliefs...
My actions...
You can be mad, self-righteous, confused. A story driven by emotion and self-protection probably doesn't involve accuracy, logic or civility. If your story contains those things, it's likely that you're not being fully honest.
Then it's time to poke and prod at your findings, exploring the ins and outs. The first questions may be the simplest:
1. What are the facts, and what are my assumptions?
I really don't know why my boss picked Todd. And I didn't tell her I was interested in the project—I figured she knew.
2. What do I need to know about the others involved?
Maybe Todd has some special skill or she has me in mind for something else.
Now we get to the more difficult questions:
3. What am I really feeling? What part did I play?
I feel so worthless. I'm failing in my career. And I don't want to ask for anything because someone might say no.
You may learn that you've been masking shame with cynicism, or that being vulnerable and asking for what you want is preferable to stewing in resentment. These truths may be uncomfortable, but they can be the basis of meaningful change.
Read more, click HERE
Family - Today's Little Moment Become Tomorrow's Precious Memories
SEL Coordinators
- Kim Bell -
- Elana Elie -
- San "Janie" Holtz -
- Laura Richard -
Email: sel_primary@bmtisd.com
Website: https://www.bmtisd.com/Page/6026
Location: 4315 Concord Road, Beaumont, TX, USA
Phone: (409)617-5200