The Hover Chair Time Machine
If you don't have it, get it!
One of the Most Advanced Products on the Market Today! (Complete Waste of Your Time)
This product is something that you have never seen before. It couples cutting-edge technology with comfort and practicality. Created by one of the most popular companies in the world (not Apple), this product is available in hundreds of customizable options so you can make it look and function like whatever you want.
Only 12 payments of $24.37!
Our headquarters is actually located inside the World's Largest Ball of Twine. This is so that no one is able to reveal our cutting-edge processes to the world. The motto above:
"Thrift + Patience = Success" is something we follow every single day. All of the materials used in our inventions come from shady thrift shops so you know you're getting quality products!
The Cube
Doesn't do much but Mike Santos ruined it for all of us so...
The Original iPhone
Because SO many people want to buy that! (sarcasm)
Mayonnaise
It's an actual instrument!
This isn't supposed to be here but I don't know how to delete it.
Contact Info (we aren't going to respond though)
The title says it all.
Email: jameshaughtman@gmail.com
Website: www.originalityinc.potato
Location: 1101010010 Milkman Boulevard
Phone: 011-011-100-110-011-0
Facebook: facebook.com/01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01001000 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01000011 01101000 01100001 01101001 01110010 00100000 01010100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01001101 01100001 01100011 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100101
Twitter: @IHaveNoFriends