Stressed-Out Gifted Learners
and Strategies for Helping Them
Catherine Williams, GT teacher
- The stress comes from within. Gifted children often have a set of invisible standards with which they evaluate themselves, and no words of comfort from us seem to silence that inner voice that's telling them, "It's not good enough unless it's perfect." They sometimes believe they are letting the adults in their lives down when they don't succeed at the level to which they aspire. We can model how to cope by acknowledging our own experiences with stress and talking about it as a universal emotion.
- Making lists helps. Having an "I Am Overwhelmed List" can help anyone feel more in control of their lives and is a great way to attack all of your "to-dos." If you use colorful paper and markers, it makes the labor of upcoming tasks seem a little more creative.
- Teach balance and prioritization. Help your child come up with a list of relaxing activities and schedule a specific time to actually do them. Bike riding, reading, and music are often on kids' lists. Then create a schedule using highlighters to color code categories of activities --- home, school, extracurricular, etc. Be sure to show how to prioritize activities, then remind your child, "It's all there, on one piece of paper! You can do it!"
- Honor their feelings. Keeping a journal, writing letters (mailed or not), and creating poetry are all productive ways to write about worries without holding them inside.
What can parents do?
- Give children a chance to talk about their feelings. Please don't be offended if they prefer to talk with a teacher or a counselor, though. As previously mentioned, gifted children often worry about letting their parents down, and talking to an adult at school may be more comfortable for them.
- Set the stage for dialogue by providing encouragement through sticky notes in books/notebooks or notes in lunchboxes. You'll be amazed at what a little private reassurance and optimism can do.
- Remind your kids that grades are important, but they aren't representative of the whole child.
- Provide creative outlets that don't involve competition. Positive diversions that bring personal joy build confidence and happiness.