January Classroom Guidance

3rd Grade

Reflective Listening with Conflicts

Learning Target: Students will understand how to take a step back from their anger and listen and gain experience role-playing reflective listening in conflict situations.


Why This Lesson Matters: Often student conflict is due to the lack of listening. When we teach children how to effectively listen to each other in conflict and non conflict times we give them the ability to problem solve many peer related issues or concerns that arise.

Activity: Our lesson began with the brain builder game "Clap and Wait". After our brains are warmed up for learning I wrote the words "Reflective Listening" on the board and asked students what they thought it meant. After we discussed how it meant listening with an open mind, saying back what you heard, I modeled two different ways to "listen". The first time I asked a student to tell me about their day. While they told me, I fidgeted with some paper, looked around the room, interrupted them and gave advice without them asking for it. I asked the other students if they thought I was listening and the all said "NO", when asked why they stated because I wasn't making eye contact, I was interrupting, giving advice and not having self control. The second time I modeled proper listening with good eye contact, good body self control, not interrupting or giving advice and then saying "I heard you say..." then paraphrased what I had heard. The students determined that I was listening the second time. The students were partnered up and given "conflict" scenarios to read to each other like "when you kick my chair it frustrates me" or "when you leave me out during recess it makes me feel sad" where the listening partner has to reflect back what they heard by saying "I heard you say..." then paraphrasing what they heard. The students went back and forth practicing expressing their feelings AND being the reflective listener.


Application: As your child to demonstrate reflective listening by using the phrase "I heard you say..." then paraphrasing what they heard. This is a great skill to practice at home for following directions!!

ASCA (American School Counseling Association) Standard: PS:A2. Students will know that communication involves speaking, listening and nonverbal behavior.