The Assyrian Times

What your cities up to during the week

The additions to our city

Last week our scribes wrote a letter to the king commanding the city be repainted. The request got granted and the city is as colorful as ever and it only took four days. There king and all of the towns people are as happy as ever. The only con to the new paint is that more unwanted people are wandering into the city at night to create a home in our city.

An interview from our King Ashurbanipal

Yesterday we caught up with our king and asked him how he felt about the recent war with the Babylonians. He said that he was pleased how well and quickly the Babylon king was killed; but was also disappointed he lost his General. When we asked Ashurbanipal if he played the "mind game" on the a posing king he proposed that the king actual thought he would live Ashurbanipal said "i actually felt a little remorse when i killed him, but I got over it quickly. Last year our king killed the "all powerful" Gilgamesh we asked how he felt about that and Ashurbanipal said it was unbearably easy. Thats all we got out of our king hopefully we will have time next week to speak with him again.


FENTON THE DOG - INDIANA JONES. JESUS CHRIST!
This is what will happen if you fish or hunt on enemy territories. Don't do it!


Assyrian Cattle

Come on down to Assyrian cattle all of our cattle is home raised "you want'm we got'm"


Our new Lamassu

The brand new Lamassu statue at the gates of our town!

The parade of our last victory over the Babylonians!

Friday, April 3rd 635 at 12pm to Sunday, April 5th 635 at 11:45pm

Center of town near the Ziggurat

Come have fun and mingle while we drink and play games to honor our army!


The Flood is Coming

The yearly flood should be arriving very soon. Make sure that all of your crops are being harvested before they become part of the water. Also stay away from the river while it is flooding or it will take you with it!


New Cattle Farm Need Slaves

If you have a slave you don't use we will buy it from you for three shekels of wheat!


Calls soon at 375-553-7745

We will inform you more next week. Stay tuned for more info about the flood, parade, and the king. Thats all for now see you next week.