Federal Court System Crash

Disaster in the District Court

Just in:

New district court Magistrate Judge approved Ronald "Round" Jackson, a man accused and convicted of first degree murder on 7294 counts, for a 1,000 box tops worth of bail. This alleged cereal killer devours his victims whole. He was caught in the act by a U.S. Marshal who had come to his house to collect his parking fine.----- " I was absolutely stunned. What this man was doing was despicable and he deserves to be punished to the full extent of the law." - U.S. Marshal Joe Float.

Remand in the U.S. Court of Appeals

U.S. Attorney Sandra Sink Comments....

"Using Appellate Jurisdiction the U.S. Court of Appeals decided to review the decision on this case. the decision was made to remand, the Opinion is being written as we speak. Hopefully it will set a precedent for other courts to follow so they do not make a ridiculous decision like the district court which heard this case first. This is a rare instance in which Original Jurisdiction has failed to support our judicial system by allowing the court to judge based off of unmade precedents. The Judge in this Circuit should be impeached and have his Life Terms revoked" -- Sandra Sink

Frank Frost

Researcher and Journalist