New Student Nutritional Standards

Michelle Obama wins her fight for vegetable vending machines

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In the biggest victory for the health of American children since 2010's "Healthy, Hunger-free kids Act", FLOTUS Michelle Obama champions the "Veggie Vending Machine Act".


As school nutritionists all agree, childhood obesity is a massive issue in the states. "The healthy future" president Barack Obama believes all children deserve became closer to reality with the introduction of innovative healthy school-lunch programs, but one thing holds America back.


Vending machines.


With easy access to chips, sodas, candies and ice-creams, students cant help but fill up on empty carbs and nutritionally-devastating sugars.


For students such as an 11th grader from Lake Highlands High School, it's become a habit to have a poisonous ice-cream treat daily. In a shocking interview, this anonymous student reveals "Yeah, I guess I get like, an ice-cream sandwich or something a couple times a week."


In what can only be described as a triumph for public health, federally mandated vending machines designed to distribute baby carrots, stalks of celery, sticks of broccoli, and individually wrapped brussel sprouts will be transported to Public schools in the next few months.


In her speech Monday, Mr's Obama asked the country "Why would any student want Cheetos when they could have chard?, Is Pepsi really that much better than a V8?"

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