Week 2: penis. and poop.
yea I'm 28
A: Being a part of the 10-way, 100+ message per day Late Night text thread........with Dan.
Who signed off on that? Because it wasn't me. That fucking relentless gang bang called a group message was a worse idea than sitting me and Cheese Tits next to each other on a Hawaiian Airlines flight. But thank you all for the play-by-play of every Thursday, Sunday, and MNF game. The next time you sign me up unwillingly for something, at least make sure that I haven't had a percocet and a cyclobenzaprine first.
Week 2 franchise-wide stats:
- Tier 1 average: 137.3
- Tier 2 average: 141.2
To be honest, the only football I was able to watch this week was the second half of the 69ers game on account of being out of town, so pardon me if I'm not well caught up and my football knowledge is even less impressive than usual. When I checked the league page today, though, I was pleasantly surprised to find that a) I won, and b) there were some wily antics over the weekend.
Nothing is safe in Tier 2. Especially the sex.
BOOK A TRIP TO SYRIA, IT'S TIME FOR MATCHUPS!!
Ged finds the Horn of Winter and puts it right in Jess's butt; finds Mike's tongue (Manginas 134, Vag Attack 132)
Steve joins me in the search for that elusive bar of soap (Sandusky 187, Juggs 135)
Does not compute (Chz 170, Kibblz 123)
Peyton only met projection with 20 points?!?! WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW SPENCER?? Clearly he favors Sam Bradford, but he might also be a big-time TBS fan - DeSean more than tripled up on those projection munz. I was actually in a Philadelphia airport while this game was on, and thank God I was surrounded by white people. I'm sure everyone outside the airport was up to no good, trying to make some trouble in my neighborhood.
Le Sigh (Eskimo 99, A-Shway 134)
The Silent Professional claims another victim (Hate 171, Schme's 127)
Week 3 Projections
Vaginal Sandusky: Zack your reign of terror must come to an end. Jess will bounce back from the bitterest of defeats to reclaim her position as alpha bergina. Hubris 155, Jerry 144
Kibbles and Eskimos: I really don't know what to say about this one. Kyle I think you can bounce back, and the underdog will prevail. Bros 136, Vick 133
Pokemon Hate: This will be a sassy matchup, ninja vs. ninja. Vernon's got the hammie injury, and Redman got his bell rung. Could this mark an early downfall for Omar? Pikachus 160, Don't 149
Schmeggernaut: We have our first clash of the cellar dwellers. Coin toss sayssss....Shane. Sorry Steve. Schme's 148, Juggernaut 139