Pencey Preparatory School*
*School of the famous graduate Rudolf Schmidt.
Come on down to Pencey Prep School to meet phonies and bastards. When you're hungry, wear a "comfy" sportcoat and tie to dine. The faculty is conscientous even though they flunk the students.
The dorms are the best place to cut your toenails and to spread them on the floor. Like heat? The dorms are a helluva sweat lodge. Privacy is a 100% guarantee in the bathroom with a beautiful, plastic shower curtain. Pencey's stairs are sprinkled with peanut shells to make sure you break your neck. The best part is that smoking is allowed in the dorms as long as you don't get caught.
One awesome place in the school is the chapel that has excellent "pews" for letting one rip. The food is delicious and on Saturday night, they serve hard, dry "steaks". Curriculum includes Shakespere, Beowulf and a good nap.