Counselor Connection
"The New Normal" ~ April 2020
A Message from Dr. B.
Stage 1: Denial
Like many of you, I had travel plans for Spring Break. In fact, my plans had been carefully crafted 1.5 years in advance (I'm a planner). I chose not to believe the news and I chose to believe that there's no way a virus of epic proportions was about to rear its ugly face here in the United States. That just doesn't happen here. I denied its catastrophic consequences until I could not deny the facts any longer.
Stage 2: Anger
There was a period of time in the following days that I was angry. Angry that my family vacation was ruined. Angry because I failed to recognize the true potential destruction of COVID-19. And angry for feeling helpless.
Stage 3: Bargaining
As everything sunk in, I thought to myself, "Okay, I can give up two weeks of my life for the better good. This is the right thing to do, and two weeks is really not a lot to ask of us. In two weeks, everything will be better and life will go back to the way it was."
Stage 4: Depression
As two weeks became three weeks and now six weeks, a sense of sadness has sunk in. This is deeper than the loss of a vacation. This is the loss of hugging my parents, girl time with my sisters, connections with friends. There is a sadness for the hurt being experienced across the world.
Stage 5: Acceptance
As I round stage 5, I'm renewed with the spirit of hope and the belief that we will get through this. This is the dawn of the new normal. And we can choose to embrace it or we can choose to continue to fight it. That choice is yours. But for this program and my small part in the world, I choose to embrace this new world and build supports that help you embrace it, too.
Although many of my sessions will continue to address the unique challenges of virtual counseling, several will focus on the tough topics that don't change, regardless of whether you are working with students virtually or face-to-face. I've made as many of my face-to-face sessions virtual to support in the continuity of professional development. For the first time ever, counselors may actually have an hour to sit down and strengthen their pedagogy. This is the time to maximize that opportunity and supercharge our counselors for now and next school year.
I hope you'll join me this month, and together we will craft the future!
Cosmic Counselor in Action ~ Tammy Brown
Here's what Tammy's colleagues had to say:
She sends out daily inspirational quotes to her staff and the other counselors in the district to uplift and provide a positive start to each and every day! Any time another counselor has a question about something, she has the answer or knows where to find it. She has mentored many new counselors and is always willing to lend a hand. Tammy truly is a hero to so many. Everyone loves her, and I can think of no better person who deserves to be recognized as a cosmic counselor!
Tammy's Interview
Position: Professional School Counselor
What influenced you to become a school counselor, college advisor, social worker, or counselor leader?
One of my favorite toys as a child was a "Tammy the Teacher" doll. Playing school was a daily occurrence where I developed my love of teaching. I had a way with children as early as my preteen years and loved spending time with them and caring for them. By the time I was in eighth grade, I knew I was meant to be a teacher. I don't remember school counselors from my school days, but in college I had always enjoyed the study of human development and psychology. Friends found me easy to talk to, and they often came to me in times of trouble. It was during this time I decided to minor in psychology and one day become a school counselor.
My goal was to teach for five years while getting my counseling degree. Well, life happened, with a marriage and children. I did not get to the degree until I was in my forties and had taught for 24 years! These past 16 years as a school counselor have brought some of my greatest joys as an educator. It is in this position I have found purpose, happiness, and satisfaction.
Name an initiative or change that you were a part of that promoted advocacy for fellow counselors or students. Describe how that change has impacted your role or the lives of students?
One initiative I am proud of is our weekend food program, which has been a dream of mine for a while. Each week, we provide weekend food for hundreds of students. This program has met a huge need at our Title 1 campus with our large population of low socioeconomic students. This program provides so much for our students and meets a basic need. Just this year, I have been blessed to have our benefactors provide extra food during school breaks, which has been a concern of mine. Another initiative is the daily "thought for the day" I send out each morning. This thought is sent to about 100 staff members and elementary counselors throughout BISD. My favorite thing about doing this is giving the hard-working educators a thought to motivate and inspire them for a great day of learning. It has truly brought me joy as I touch their lives with this thought each day.
What are you proudest of in your current position?
My proudest moment in this position has been in two areas. One is longevity. I have dedicated 35 years to my current campus. I found my home and “my people.” The student demographic is what keeps me motivated to keep going. I love serving this low-income struggling population. These kiddos have so much to offer the world, given the chance.
Second, I had a student whom I believed was being abused by her father. One day, I was talking to her about her recent broken arm. I shared with her a portion of a true story I had read about a boy in her position. I hoped this would help her open up. It did not. However, three years later when she was in foster care, she called me from her home. On the phone she said, “Mrs. Brown, I am that boy.” “My father was doing that to me.” She was eventually adopted and is probably about 20 years old now. I cried after our phone call remembering all she had been through and what courage it took to come to that point. I was glad to know her ending and that it was a happy one.
When the work gets hard, how do you find a balance between your work and personal life?
This work is hard sometimes because of the issues we face in our world. In the early days of my career, I spent hours trying to "get it right," "rescue them all," and "meet every need." It took me a while, but I eventually learned I could not care for others if I didn't take care of me. I learned to walk away from the office and leave those worries and concerns there. No matter which position -- teacher or counselor -- family came first. "Family is not an important thing...it's everything" has been my motto. As counselors, we carry so much in our hearts and minds which could disrupt our lives and thoughts. We must give ourselves the same care and attention we give to others in order to best love and care for them. Family, hobbies, church, and outdoor activities have kept me mentally and spiritually healthy.
What advice would you give to future counselors, college advisors, or social workers?
My greatest advice is in a saying I have used for many years, one which was shared with me by my mother when I was in college: "Bloom Where You Are Planted." Find your place, get those roots down deep, water with joyful moments, and enjoy the sunshine. This job can be stressful and downright sad sometimes. You have to find joy in the small moments and victories. Start small. Don't do everything at once. Build your counseling program more each year. Find your passion and go for it with all you've got. You can change the world.
Cosmic Counselor Nominations
April Webinars
Self-Care & Mindfulness
The Power of Laughter
- Hat Day
- Bring Your Dog to Work Day
- Fancy Friday
- Mug Day
- Silly Sock Day
- Hawaiian Shirt Day
- Disney Day
- Decade Day
- Band Shirt Day
- Messy Hair Day
These small additions not only bring laughter, but also fosters social connection. You'll really get to know your colleagues better when you start learning about their favorite things. Maybe you will learn a little too much!
Email me those photos too! I would love to share them.
TEA Tidbits
Email Work from Home Photos
Dear Sandy
Dear Sandy ~
~Rule Follower
Dear Rule Follower,
I can understand your apprehension as we transition to a virtual environment. First and foremost, we must remember that, even though the learning environment has changed, our local policies and procedures have not. What was your district practice prior to e-learning? Has your district issued any direct guidance in this area? Talk to your leadership about their recommendations. Although we want to help students (and we definitely should), make sure you are communicating with leadership, as we all work through these unprecedented times.
Dear Sandy ~
~Maslow before Zooms
Dear Maslow before Zooms,
This has been the struggle of many school counselors, even before the shift to e-learning. Finding our space in a sea of academics is a challenge that will continue, no matter the platform. The same truths still exist. If we don't support the social and emotional needs of students, they will struggle to meet the academic demands. Review your comprehensive guidance program timeline. What would you have been doing now? How can you still provide resources and supports to your students? With incredible platforms like Zoom, Google Classroom, and technology apps like Flip Grid or Seasaw, you will find what feels right for YOU. Technology is a very personal thing, and you shouldn't overwhelm yourself with the many options. I challenge you to try just one tech tool and see how you feel.
At the end of the day, students want to know we haven't abandoned them. Record a short video on your smart phone and tell kids you are thinking about them, provide some words of wisdom, do a short read aloud, or even just point them to your website where they can find office hours, activities, or other video clips you upload. Doing something is better than doing nothing.
Dr. Sandy Benavidez
Email: sbenavidez@esc11.net
Website: https://www.esc11.net/Page/8208
Location: 1451 South Cherry Lane, White Settlement, TX, USA
Phone: 817-740-3607
Twitter: @ESCR11Counselor