The Love Advisor

Giving Advice Since Yesterday- Cameron Johnson

You are my Only Hope!

Dear Mr. Dr. Professor Scientist Guy,

I have read your column for years, but I never thought that I would be writing to you. I've tried going to meetings of "Women who love too much" but I'm still hurting, so I thought maybe you could help me. My problem is that the guy I love doesn't want to be in the same room with me. Whenever I talk to him, I feel like trash or a dog. The worst part is he's in love with my best friend, which I'm jealous of a lot. How do I get a man to fall for me instantly?Help me now!


The Lonely Dog

Mr. Dr. Professor Scientist Guy's Answer

Dear Lonely Dog,

So, you want a guy to fall for you, huh? Well you are lucky that I'm a guy who knows a lot of tricks. All you need is to take my love class. Lesson one: the easiest way is to make him jealous. All you need is another guy in the equation ( I wonder who...). All you got to do is let that guy you like to see you and your man and trust me, he'll get jealous. Lesson two: You need to loosen up and calm down. To me it sounds like you are pressing him too much. Try to just back off some or do something nice for yourself: buy something nice, relax, get a good night sleep and eat some bacon strips. He may think you are less annoying, but he may still ignore you. Well my work here is done. I hope you pass the test and beseech his heart. Always remember, you got this.

Good Luck,

Mr. Dr. Professor Scientist Guy