In Gunna We Trust

America's future is bright and you should be happy!

Reasons for otimism

America! You choose wisely. Last night you went to bed with the unicorn of fortune and woke up with Donnie Trumpet. This gentleman is well established corporate kingpin and the grandson of the kind and loving Grinch that we all remember from the childhood story. During his inauguration he pledges no national censorship and promised to pack Congress and the Supreme Court and replace them with more reliable puppets . We won’t go into too much detail about his character, but he is well known for being altruistic and racially receptive. On national television, when millions of viewers have toned in to watch the political debate, he certainly does not make indirect references to his male reproductive organ. He is so unbiased that he almost chocked on sentiments of equality. His destiny is to make America great again. Children sing songs about how much they love him.

He is caring individual who does his best to accommodate all of America’s racially diverse population. When campaigning, he is known to be a first rate feminism who expresses the idea that there is more to women than just producing offspring and bending to the will of their male counterparts. He is the only GOP candidate to fully acknowledge the citizenship of the Muslims who live in the U.S. and also the first to be endorsed the Kentucky Fried Chicken Klan. In his eyes, the Latinos and African Americans are an empowered group of people who contribute society in a positive manner. His sweeping reformist ideals will act as a wild berserker who will ruthlessly encompass positive change and social improvement in its path. His radical leadership is a potent as the poison from a venomous snake. Given the choice between a handshake from him and a bite from the snake, I’d choose the handshake. His campaign motto is “some pigs are more equal than others”. His passion for social reform is stronger than the slap from a grizzly.

His anti-fascist sentiments appeal to the vast American public. He is great friends with Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong UN, no strings (nuclear) attached. He invited them over to the white house for a nice Sunday picnic. He drives the hybrid vehicle of justice on the highway to Never land where prosperity never ages, not hell. Consensus data shows that 99.999 percent of his statements are true. His political rallies are peaceful and welcoming to all non-whites. He is a Peter Griffin in real life and puts on great soap operas his during press conferences, and that’s why he’s so amazing. In no such error, the people realized that they picked the right guy to be president, and they lived happily ever after.