Emotional Tunnels
"It is a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply"
Greetings...
If you're anything like me, your life-work balance may have gotten very out of whack over the past few months. As the busy started taking over, I heard an interview with Drs. Emily and Amelia Nagoski about their new book- Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, which deepened my understanding of how self-care actually helps work through our emotions to regulate our stress levels. It made a lot of sense to me.
The following is an excerpt from the book. “Just about every system in your body responds to the chemical and electrical cascade activated by emotion. Emotion is automatic, instantaneous, it happens everywhere, and it affects everything... Emotions are tunnels. If you go all the way through them, you get to the light at the end. Exhaustion happens when we get stuck in an emotion.”
The Doctors outline seven strategies to accomplish this. Most of them will not surprise you (insert self-care mantra here).
Physical Activity
Deep Breathing
Positive Social Interaction
Laughter--full belly laughing
Hugging--until relaxed
Crying--until relaxed
A Creative Activity
I hadn’t known the actual science of emotions before. I thought that when I was done feeling an emotion, it was time to move on. But apparently, the emotion isn't done with me until I "go through the tunnel" and finish the emotion cycle to reduce my stress.
How does this relate to NHA, you might ask? That is a GREAT question.
First, teach your child that NO emotion is wrong, along with the strategies to regulate themselves to go all the way through the emotion tunnel. When you see your child using any of the strategies, whether prompted by someone or on their own, acknowledge their greatness!
I.e., "I see that you are regulating yourself by deep breathing! You have such great self-control!" You can use this statement when you need them to use self-control too.
You can also discuss how you will give them a low energy "reset" every time they cross your line of acceptable behavior and the strategies they can use to get "back in the game immediately."
Lastly, make sure that YOU are using the Dr's strategies to get through the emotional tunnels and to the other side without getting stuck because...
YOU are worth it.
It will make your life better.
Ps...Here's the LINK to the podcast if you're interested in listening to it in its entirety.
To your GREATNESS, HUMANITY & SIGNIFICANCE.
Amy