The Hover Chair Time Machine
If you don't have it, get it!
One of the Most Advanced Products on the Market Today! (Complete Waste of Your Time)
This product is something that you have never seen before. It couples cutting-edge technology with comfort and practicality. Created by one of the most popular companies in the world (not Apple), this product is available in hundreds of customizable options so you can make it look and function like whatever you want.
Only 12 payments of $24.37!
Our headquarters is actually located inside the World's Largest Ball of Twine. This is so that no one is able to reveal our cutting-edge processes to the world. The motto above:
"Thrift + Patience = Success" is something we follow every single day. All of the materials used in our inventions come from shady thrift shops so you know you're getting quality products!
Doesn't do much but Mike Santos ruined it for all of us so...
The Original iPhone
Because SO many people want to buy that! (sarcasm)
It's an actual instrument!