STAYING CONNECTED!
May STUDENT Edition
...SO LET'S CELEBRATE MENTAL WELL-BEING!!!
With Mental Health Awareness month upon us, I am dedicating this entire edition of Staying Connected to the awareness of the mental health issues that affect students and families, and to the promotion of mental and emotional wellness. It's time we place as much priority on our mental and emotional health as we do our physical health... and it's time we erase the stigma that surrounds mental illness!
Oh, and be sure to click the pictures for special links to related videos.
In This Issue of Staying Connected:
Did You Know That "Depression" Is Not A Bad Word?!?
Say It Out Loud (Video)
The Truth About Anxiety
11 Things People With Anxiety Want Their Friends To Know (Video)
Why Optimism?
Choosing Your Mood
Affirmations Fight Negativity
Affirmations Guide
Teen News: NotOK App
Social Media Detox Challenge
Some Thoughts On Empathy
Facts for Teens About Drugs and Alcohol
More on Substance Use
Career Spotlight: Clinical Neuropsychologist
Did you know that "DEPRESSION" is not a bad word?!?
- Each year, 1 in 8 teens experience major depression
- Suicide is the second leading cause of death for young people 10-24, making up 19.2% of all deaths among young people in 2017.
- Having another disorder is most common in young people with depression: about 3 in 4 children and youth aged 3-17 years with depression also have anxiety (73.8%). We'll talk more about anxiety later.
- High school students with significant symptoms of depression are more than twice as likely to drop out compared to their peers
- Students aged 6-17 with mental, emotional or behavioral concerns are 3x more likely to repeat a grade.
People struggling with depression often feel that they are alone. I promise you, you're not!! Here are some words of wisdom from a few people you may know:
Lady Gaga: says she’s dealt with both depression and anxiety her whole life. Gaga isn’t ashamed to admit she takes medication for depression. In an interview with Billboard magazine, she said she thinks it’s important for people to talk about their mental health. “If we share our stories and stick together, we’re stronger.”
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: “Struggle and pain is real. Depression never discriminates... the key is to not be afraid to open up. Especially us dudes have a tendency to keep it in...I found that with depression, one of the most important things you can realize is that you're not alone. You're not the first to go through it, you're not going to be the last to go through it."
Selena Gomez advocates that “If you are broken, you don’t have to stay broken,” She even stepped away from social media for a much-needed break.
Justin Bieber stated, “The pressure of meeting people’s expectations of what I’m supposed to be is so much for me to handle and a lot on my shoulders.”
Beyonce once said: "I didn't eat. I stayed in my room. I was in a really bad place in life, going through that lonely period: 'Who am I? Who are friends? My life changed.'"
Kevin Love, NBA Allstar: “Everyone is going through something that we can’t see. The thing is, because we can’t see it, we don’t know who’s going through what and we don’t know when and we don’t always know why. Mental health is an invisible thing, but it touches all of us at some point or another. It’s part of life.”
Lili Reinhart says,"You are the one thing in this world, above all other things, that you must never give up on. When I was in middle school, I was struggling with severe anxiety and depression and the help and support I received from my family and a therapist saved my life. Asking for help is the first step. You are more precious to this world than you'll ever know."
Robin Williams once stated: "All it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you really are."
Michael J. Fox: "Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."
Dak Prescott, QB for the Dallas Cowboys: "If I wouldn't have talked about those things to the people I did, I wouldn't have realized my friends and a lot more people go through them -- and they are as common as they are.”
If you or someone you know is suffering, reach out, talk to a trusted adult, ask for help! Pro tip: Your school counselor would be a great place to start!
Watch this "Say It Out Loud" video
The Truth About Anxiety
Every single one of us has feelings of anxiety, stress, and nervousness from time to time. High school and life as a young person are full of new challenges that sometimes pile up on top of challenges we haven't really dealt with yet. All teenagers feel anxious sometimes, and it usually, but not always, goes away on its own. It's important that you understand that anxiety has NOTHING to do with strength, courage, or character. In fact, quite often, people with anxiety are some of the strongest, bravest people you know!
For about 1 in 3 American Teens anxiety is more than an occasional, random occurrence. That's how many teenagers struggle with something called an "anxiety disorder", according to the National Institutes on Health (NIH).
Why Optimism?
These benefits can include:
- Better test scores and higher GPAs
- Lower levels of stress, anxiety, and depression
- Superior performance in a wide variety of sports
- More job offers, higher starting salaries, and more frequent promotions at work
- Lower rates of disease, and higher life expectancy
And who doesn't want those things??
Being an optimist doesn't just mean that you are always positive and always looking at the bright side. It's about the way we THINK about the events that happen in our lives. How we explain them to ourselves.
Here's an example. Let's say that you got a poor grade on a math test. What might you tell yourself about that? Do any of these seem familiar?
1. I'm bad at math
2. My teacher never explains things
3. I'm just bad at taking tests
4. I got distracted from studying
5. I'm not smart enough for this class
6. I didn't pay enough attention in class
Well, the fact is that ANY of these, or even several of these may be true, but it's the explanation(s) that you focus on that will have the biggest impact on what you do next.
Here's what I mean: If you convince yourself that you have a terrible teacher, then why bother at all? If you focus more on your frustration and anger at the teacher than on something that you can control, it's likely that you will begin to feel that there's no point in even bothering to listen to your teacher. BUT, if you focus on "I didn't study enough", the message you're telling yourself is that you can do better next time by studying more, or more effectively! This puts YOU in control and increases your willingness to invest the time & energy into better test prep. for the next test. See how that works?
"The type of explanation you typically focus on when something doesn't meet your expectations is what determines your level of optimism or pessimism.
When something bad happens, pessimists tend to see these setbacks as major problems that will last a long time and be very difficult to overcome. They tend to come up with very broad, long-term explanations for these misfortunes, such as…
- I’m never going to understand this!
- My teacher hates me.
- I’m not as smart as the other students in my class.
In contrast, optimists tend to see mistakes & failures as temporary, isolated incidents and think of negative events in terms that are specific and within their power to change, like…
- This is a challenge, but I’m sure I can figure it out if I keep trying.
- My teacher was in a rush today, so I’ll try asking my question again tomorrow.
- Anna did really well on this test, maybe I can get together to study with her this weekend."
* CreatingPositiveFutures.com
You always have a choice about how you explain events that occur in your life. Try brainstorming a number of possible ways to explain both the good AND the bad events that happen in your life. Then read through your list and see if you can choose the explanation that will be most helpful to you.... the one that will help you change an outcome the next time (if possible). If you're having trouble with this, seek help from a trusted adult or a friend that you feel tends to think positively about things most of the time.
"When BAD events happen, the most optimistic approach is to minimize their importance by explaining them in terms that are temporary and specific.
In contrast, when GOOD events happen, the most optimistic approach is to maximize their importance by explaining them in terms that are general and long lasting."
Believe it or not, there are times when pessimism might work better for you. Being overly-optimistic can backfire by leading you to become overly confident, which can cause you to set unrealistic expectations.
Here are some times when a little pessimism might actually be a good thing:
- Estimating the amount of time and effort something will take (for example: how long it will take to drive to your appointment; how hard you’ll need to work on this paper)
- Deciding whether to engage in high-risk behaviors with serious consequences
- Envisioning potential setbacks and negative outcomes, so you can plan how to deal with them
Optimistic thinking is usually more helpful in these situations:
- Coping with disappointments or setbacks
- Thinking creatively, or brainstorming potential solutions
- Considering whether you have the ability to achieve a difficult goal
- Deciding whether to engage in low-risk behaviors that might result in embarrassment or disappointment, but don’t pose any serious long-term risks
- Imagining how good you will feel once you have accomplished your goals
Your goal is to practice flexible optimism. Don't think of optimism as "good" and pessimism as "bad". Instead, learn to apply the right mindset for the right situation, based on what will be the most helpful. often, a blend of the two works best. For instance, be pessimistic about how long it might take you to reach a goal, but optimistic about your ability to do so!
Choosing Your Mood
"Have you ever been in a bad mood that you just can't shake? Or had a pile of homework but realized you're not in the mood to get it done? Sometimes we feel at the mercy of our moods — but moods aren't things that just happen to us. We can influence and change them.
Being able to choose the mood that's best suited to a situation is one of the skills of emotional intelligence. Choosing the right mood can help you control whatever situation you're in." Click on THIS LINK to learn more about how to choose your mood, and how to move away from an unhelpful and potentially destructive mood, from Nemours.
And Now For Some Good News: Affirmations Fight Negativity!
According to The Daily GoGetter, an affirmation is a short, powerful statement that allows you to consciously be in control of your thoughts. An affirmation is carefully constructed to have the most impact. When you say them or think them, they become the thoughts that shape your reality.
Research shows that around 80% of the 50,000 subconscious thoughts you have in a day are negative ones. That is a lot of negativity! Affirmations make you consciously aware of your thoughts. So when you consciously think positive thoughts, it is easier to control the negative ones that are always threatening to take over. Firmly declaring a positive thought and assertively stating it as a truth can be deal-breaker!
To write your own affirmations, keep these 5 steps in mind:
1. When possible, begin your affirmation with the words "I am..." This language gives your subconscious mind a command, which makes it a directive that your mind knows it has to follow through on.
2. Use the present tense. Speaking about something as if it is already happening helps your mind to visualize the outcome. And visualizing, or seeing the possibility of a thing happening, gives us motivation to achieve it and greatly increases your chances of doing so! Ask any successful athlete.
3. Speak positively about about your goal. Don't use negative words in your affirmation: Your subconscious mind doesn't recognize negatives. For example, instead of saying "Don't assume the worst about how my day will go", say "I am open to making it a great day!"
4. Keep it simple & keep it brief. You'll be able to remember your affirmation better if you don't write an essay about it.
5. Be specific. Remember your SMART goals? When you make something specific, you make it easier for your mind to visualize it. Rather than saying, "I'm going to pass today's test", say "I am enjoying the feeling of earning an A on my math test".
Our minds are geared toward negativity, but one key to combatting negativity in your life is using meaningful, well-crafted affirmations! For some terrific, ready-to-use affirmations on depression, stress, anxiety, relationships, and life transitions, click on the link below.
NotOK App
After Surviving a Suicide Attempt, This Teen and her brother Created the NotOK App to Alert Your Friends When You Need Help
Mind Games: Technology and the Developing Teen Brain
"When it comes to technology, children and teens are the ultimate experts. Ninety-five percent of teenagers between the ages of 13 and 17 in the United States have a smartphone, and 94% report that they use the Internet at least once a day [1]....Technology provides many opportunities to connect, learn, and have fun, inside and outside the classroom. But technology also carries risks, such as distraction from other activities and relationships, too much screen time, or hasty posting.
Research has proven some significant links between your time on-line and your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Moderation in technology use is the key: those who spend too little or too much time using digital devices experience the most problems. However, spending a moderate amount of high-quality time on digital devices might be associated with positive experiences, such as feeling happy and connected to friends. High-quality time requires you to be actively engaged with other people or learning. Low-quality activities are associated with feelings of depression, envy and loneliness, and might include scrolling passively, comparing yourself to others on social media, or using your devices late into the night or when you need to finish other tasks.
The authors of the article suggest the following "tech tips for teens":
- Pay attention to the quality and content of what you do online instead of the total screen time.
- Use technology actively (...writing stories, chatting with friends and family, using videos to learn new skills) instead of passively (scrolling through a celebrity's account).
- Avoid multi-tasking: When you're doing homework, turn off your phone.
- Make sure that using your devices is not taking time away from exercise, getting enough sleep, doing homework, and interacting with friends and family.
- When you go to sleep, keep your device outside of your bedroom. Use an alarm clock instead.
- Turn off all the defaults in apps that might make it hard to control their use, like video autoplay and notifications.
- Take responsibility for your own engagement with digital media, and create a technology use contract that makes sense for you and your family.
For more important and useful information about social media and the social brain, getting "hooked" on devices, the effects of technology on sleep, and how to take back control and make the most of technology read the full article at: https://kids.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/frym.2020.00076
Social Media Detox Challenge!
Some Thoughts On Empathy
Do you know the difference between empathy and sympathy? If my cat died, would you feel sorry for me, or would you grieve right along with me? If you would feel sorry for me, then you are sympathetic, but if you actually felt grief (you may have once lost a pet or a person close to you), then you are experiencing empathy.
According to an article by Kendra Cherry on the website, Verywellmind.com, empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what other people feel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place. Essentially, it is putting yourself in someone else's position and feeling what they must be feeling.
While people are generally pretty well-attuned to their own feelings and emotions, getting into someone else's head can be a bit more difficult. The ability to feel empathy allows people to "walk a mile in another's shoes," so to speak. It permits people to understand the emotions that others are feeling.
For many, seeing another person in pain and responding with indifference or even outright hostility seems utterly incomprehensible. But the fact that some people do respond in such a way clearly demonstrates that empathy is not necessarily a universal response to the suffering of others.
There are some signs that show that you tend to be an empathetic person:
- You are good at really listening to what others have to say.
- People often tell you about their problems.
- You are good at picking up on how other people are feeling.
- You often think about how other people feel.
- Other people come to you for advice.
- You often feel overwhelmed by tragic events.
- You try to help others who are suffering.
- You are good at telling when people aren't being honest.
- You sometimes feel drained or overwhelmed in social situations.
- You care deeply about other people.
- You find it difficult to set boundaries in your relationships with other people.
Having a great deal of empathy makes you concerned for the well-being and happiness of others. It also means, however, that you can sometimes get overwhelmed, burned out, or even overstimulated from always thinking about other people's emotions.
While sympathy and compassion and are related to empathy, there are important differences. Compassion and sympathy are often thought to involve more of a passive connection, while empathy generally involves a much more active attempt to understand another person.
Kendra Cherry outlines three important benefits to being able to experience empathy:
- Empathy allows people to build social connections with others. By understanding what people are thinking and feeling, people are able to respond appropriately in social situations. Research has shown that having social connections is important for both physical and psychological well-being.1
- Empathizing with others helps you learn to regulate your own emotions. Emotional regulation is important in that it allows you to manage what you are feeling, even in times of great stress, without becoming overwhelmed.
- Empathy promotes helping behaviors. Not only are you more likely to engage in helpful behaviors when you feel empathy for other people, but other people are also more likely to help you when they experience empathy.
Ms. Cherry goes on to state that fortunately, empathy is a skill that you can learn and strengthen. If you would like to build your empathy skills, there are a few things that you can do:
- Work on listening to people without interrupting
- Pay attention to body language and other types of nonverbal communication
- Try to understand people, even when you don't agree with them
- Ask people questions to learn more about them and their lives
- Imagine yourself in another person's shoes
In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities.
Facts For Teens About Drugs and Alcohol
From the University of Michigan, Michigan Medicine website:
Many teens try alcohol, tobacco, or drugs. Some teens try these substances only a few times and stop. Others can't control their urges or cravings for them. This is substance use disorder. Moderate to severe substance use disorder is sometimes called addiction.
Teens may try a number of substances, including cigarettes, alcohol, household chemicals (inhalants), prescription and over-the-counter medicines, and illegal drugs. Teens use alcohol more than any other substance. Marijuana is the illegal drug that teens use most often.
Teens may use a substance for many reasons. They may do it because:
- They want to fit in with friends or certain groups.
- They like the way it makes them feel.
- They believe it makes them more grown up.
Teens tend to try new things and take risks, so they may take drugs or drink alcohol because it seems exciting.
Teens with family members who have problems with alcohol or other drugs are more likely to have serious substance use problems. Also, teens who feel that they are not connected to or valued by their parents are at greater risk. Teens with poor self-esteem or emotional or mental health problems, such as depression, also are at increased risk.
Substance use can lead to serious problems such as poor schoolwork, loss of friends, problems at home, and lasting legal problems. Alcohol and drug use is a leading cause of teen death or injury related to car crashes, suicides, violence, and drowning. Substance use can increase the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV, because of unprotected sex. Even occasional alcohol use by a teen increases the risk for future alcohol and drug problems.
Even casual use of certain drugs can cause severe health problems, such as an overdose or brain damage. Many illegal drugs today are made in home labs, so they can vary greatly in strength. These drugs also may contain bacteria, dangerous chemicals, and other unsafe substances.
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If you have questions about drugs, alcohol, tobacco, addiction, prevention, how to help a friend, or anything else related to substance use or misuse, there are some extremely reliable resources for you to turn to. Here are a few, with a brief explanation of what they have to offer:
The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), site for teens (science-based information on teen substance use and its effects. Drug facts, blogs, games, etc.)
Headsup, from Scholastic (the latest news about drugs and other substances, including a National Drug IQ Challenge, Interactive videos, and easy-to-read facts and statistics)
The Truth Campaign (Facts and tools to help you make change)
Download the file below for many more resources, especially for students:
More on Substance Use
If you or someone you care about is struggling with substance use, there is help out there. Please talk with Mrs. Casanova or another trusted adult to find out what kind of help is available to you.
Career Spotlight:
Watch the video below to learn how a Clinical Neuropsychologist applies theories and principles of neuropsychology to diagnose and treat disorders of higher cerebral functioning. Neuropsychologists study the relationship between human behavior and the brain. They diagnose and treat conditions related to the central nervous system, whether due to disease, injury, or age-related brain changes. For information about training, earnings, job outlook, and MUCH more, visit O*NET Online.
Very Important Dates To Remember!!
Thursday, May 5: Anchor Graduation & last day of school
Sunday, May 9: Mother's Day
Tuesday, May 11: LCS Freshman Orientation
Friday, May 28: LCS Graduation
Monday, May 31: Memorial Day - NO School
Wednesday, June 2: LCS last day of school
Thursday, June 3: HMS Venture Program Graduation
Friday, June 4: MCCS Graduation & last day of school
Tuesday, June 8: HMS Last Day of School for Venture
Sunday, June 20: Father's Day
Mrs. Lori Casanova
As your IU 13 high school counselor, I am here to support all ACS, HMS, LCS, and MCCS students and families with academic, social/emotional, and college/career needs. If you would like to schedule a virtual or in-person meeting with me, please complete THIS FORM, or email me at the email address below.
Email: lorraine_casanova@iu13.org
Website: https://lorrainecasanova.wixsite.com/casanovaiucounselor
Phone: 717-947-1635