Come to America
You will not die because of the potatoes here.
My life here
Well I face some discrimination because i'm not american, but I can deal with it. My job could be better. I need it so I can buy food that doesn't kill me. Any way my job sucks, I face discrimination, but I get paid and non lethal food so it's not so bad.
The real reason i'm leaving
I am leaving because of the potatoes and because I hate almost all of you. Also Auden your wife cheated on you with me. That's right I did it, come get me if you think your man enough