A Modest Proposal to Dress Code
For preventing trouble for schools
By Graham Walker and Troy Williams
The Problem
The solution
My plan that like has us take away the dress code completely and have us come to school wear as little we want. We don’t have to worry about getting into trouble with my teachers because I’m showing too much boob or something stupid like that and we would have less distraction from teachers because they think my mini skirt is too short, I mean come on its only 12 inches above my knee. Like the best part is that if we want too we could totally just go to school completely naked. I know what you’re thinking like us girls will totally cause the boys to be distracted all day, but after a while those perverts will stop drooling and totally get used to the naked body and there would like totally be no more distraction or we could totally have theme days like Hawaiian day where us girls wear grass skirts and coconut bras and if that doesn't work we could have painted on clothes day were we paint on fake clothes that would like totally be like awesome. I would finally be able to attract that cute guy in math because I can wear clothes think don’t look ugly on me but who am I kidding? I make everything look good.
The Plan
The advantages
There are like so many advantages to this plan. For one it takes care of the problems in class that totally stop me from napping or talking to boys. It also saves like a ton of money for the school, they wouldn't have to hire people to like totally stalk me, like can you say get a life? Plus we’d get into school dances faster because teachers wouldn't have to measure our dresses. It like also saves poor people money too because they wouldn't have to spend a ton of money on clothes when they can just go naked and that's way more comfy! It like also totally helps the environment because not as many clothes need to be made then all those people with signs wouldn't have to say like save the trees or whatever. Lastly, because we as teens can express ourselves as much as we want. We can voice our opinions more and show off our bodies like a piece of art.
Expedients
Conclusion
Okay so like in the end all we as teenagers really want is the freedom to do what we want and since at home our parents like totally run our lives and at school we have all these stupid rules I think we would be more accepting if we like had no dress code. We were given the right to do what we want when we were born so like why take that away from us besides it is hard for the teachers to enforce. Having our own style helps us feel like we have more power and stuff because we are like totally hit with rules we have to follow, if teachers gave us a no dress code policy we could wear whatever we want, whenever we want. I mean it would totally like completely stop any fights teachers and students have over dress code and completely help us save time and like learn more in class.