Crayola's Love Song...

by: person...( Tanya Mensch)

I might be pink or i might be red...

Dear Person...,

I have read your column for years, but i never thought that i would be writing to you. I've tried going to meeting of "woman who love too much" but i'm still hurting, so i thought maybe you could help me. My problem is that the guy i love doesn't want to be in the same room with me. but my worst my Beautiful bestfriend, whos like a pretty poodle, sent her boyfriend after me. pretending that he "loves me" I don't know what to do! I just wish that he loved me and not my bestfriend... -sincerely

The Shagie Competing Against A Poodle

Advice column!?!?

That's Cray-Cray like Crayola's

Dear the Shagie Competing Against A Poodle,

I see that you have major boy issues. You love one guy , and he loves your best friend. She loves another, and now her boyfriend loves you? that's cray-cray

First, you should try consulting a fairy, Oberon maybe? Word on the street is that he wants to help some mortal?!? He's crazy right? Anyway, he might help you..Or he might just send puck, and you know he's pretty devious. He might make your wish go wrong like make a house love you or even worse a donkey.. Or he might be a "nice" fairy and grant your wish and make the man you love love you...?

If all fails... I mean ALL! Just kidnap the kid?! He might not love you, or he might resent you..but you sound desperate. BUT remember you'll need duct tape! or else word will get out and someone might rescue him, and you'll get arrested...remember i didn't tell you this...ok