The St. Petersberg Courant

"The juiciest secrets of St. Petersberg... unraveled."

A Tale of 3 Angels

St. Petersberg has experienced heart-breaking tragedies. Unnecessary bar fights, assassinations, we've had it all. But not like this. Yesterday, Aunt Polly has reported the loss of three young angels. Their names are: Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn, and Joe Harper. "I'm so sorry," Aunt Polly wailed, "I got so mad at Tom for tricking the cat." They were last seen sauntering toward the Mississippi River. If anyone has seen them, report it to the Courant for a reward.

Mark Twain on his new Bestseller "Tom Sawyer

Mark Twain's new bestseller "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" has been widely acclaimed in the U.S. Recently, Twain came to the village regarding "Confidential Purposes". I decided to have a quick interview with him regarding "Tom Sawyer".

Me: Congratulations on your masterpiece!

M.T.: Thanks!

Me: I'm an avid fan of yours, and I want to ask three questions.

M.T.: Okay.

Me: In the book, Tom had a goody two-shoes brother named Sid. What was your inspiration on the subject?

M.T.: Well, I had five siblings, so home was chaos. I decided to incorporate Sid to resemble the chaos I experienced.

Me: The murder in the graveyard was a morbid event in the story. What inspired you to create that?

M.T.: When I was nine, I witnessed a man kill a cattle rancher. That event inspired me to create that scene.

Me: Finally, Tom has experienced bouts of depression and boredom. Did this resemble your childhood?

M.T.: Yes, in fact it did. I lived in poverty, my dad was dead, and I was dreadfully lonely. It gives me the willies just thinking about it!

Me: Okay, thanks for the interview!

M.T. No, thank you!