Nuclear Fusion: Hit or Miss?
Reported by H.R. Hamilton
SJK Labs Incorporated Press Release
On December 11th, 2015, SJK Labs Incorporated has reported what they are calling a "successful breach into the world of nuclear fusion technology".
How Does it Compare to Nuclear Fission?
Nuclear Fission: the splitting of nuclei to produce exponential amounts of energy.
Nuclear Fusion: the combining of nuclei to produce energy, tenfold that of nuclear fission.
Founding Partners in the Research of Nuclear Fusion Technology of SJK Labs Incorporated Trials
Sarah Kurt: Founder, CEO, and Project Manager
Her daily job duties include picking up pizza and Dr.Pepper for Mr.Neutron, buying expensive art for her office, arguing and swearing like a sailor over the phone with her suppliers and obtaining government grants.
Dr. Jimmy Neutron: Lead Scientist
Dr.Neutron first proposed the idea of harnessing the technology of Nuclear Fusion through a serious of complex diagrams made from various candies and tooth-picks at the ripe age of 8 years old. Since working for the lab, Dr.Neutron has obtained a PhD in both Physics and Astronomy, created a robotic dog, and created a permanent hair gel that he used to style his hair an astounding 3 ft, 7 inches tall!
JIm Carey: First Assistant
Jim, one of our leading assistants in field research, has demonstrated with his own physical appearance the appeals that nuclear fusion has in the cosmetologic markets! The only side effects proven by our labs to date are a hate for Christmas and minor antisocial behaviors.
What ARE the Breakthroughs, Exactly?
As exemplified above on Mr.Carey, nuclear radiation treatments have been extremely successful in re-activating hair follicles, more so than any hair-regrowth treatment on the market. The company has good reason to believe that this product will do incredibly well in the cosmetology and pharma markets.
The company has also patented a HIGHLY effective, potentially life-changing, type of solar panel designed to harness the Sun's heat rays, and plans to put them into place around the world where there are large glacial pockets, and melt them at a rate at which they can replenish, while still collecting fresh water for generations to come.
Fusion Energy Explained
^^^^ Watch from Beginning to 2:31 ^^^^
" We believe that what we are doing, especially in the case of our new solar panel technology, will leave the 21st century and it's current problems in the past, and introduce us into a new era of fair world-trade, and bring more conservation efforts to light, at a level previously never seen. A new day is dawning, and I smell profit, I smell problem-solving, and I smell progress. "
-said Sarah Kurt, CEO of SJK Labs Inc. when asked about the projected Economic Impact of their technologies