Local News Update

News of shape-shifting injection sweeps the nation

Come try the new injection: Malfephine!

According to leading scientists and researchers, Malfephine is considered the turning point of this generation. Malfephine allows patients to undergo physical and emotional changes that are animalistic; increasing their stamina, metabolism, strength, and gross motor skills. Receiving this injection will allow patients to "shape-shift" into any animal or creature that they want; whether it be a small field mouse, or a bold lion. Scientists have already started administrating this new concoction to the U.S military for use in warfare.

How does Malfephine work?

A brief description of what goes on inside your body when Malfephine enters it

After you have been injected, some of the cells that are responsible for protecting you against disease — your B lymphocytes — detect the antigens and animal DNA in the injection. The B lymphocytes will then react as if an infectious organism was invading your body. They multiply to form an army of identical cells that are able to respond to the antigens in the injection. The cloned cells then evolve into one of 2 types of cells:

  1. plasma cells; or
  2. memory B cells.

The plasma cells produce antibodies (Y- or T-shaped molecules), which are trained specifically to attach to and inactivate the organism it thinks it is protecting you against.

This response from your immune system, generated by the B lymphocytes, is known as the primary response. It takes several days to build to maximum intensity, and the antibody concentration in the blood peaks at about 14 days.

Your body continues making antibodies and memory B cells for a couple of weeks after injection. Over time, the antibodies will gradually disappear, but the memory B cells will remain dormant in your body for many years.

The memory B cells (as the name implies) keep a memory of the particular organism's DNA that you were injected with. If you are ever exposed to that organism, the dormant memory cells will recognize it straight away, and rapidly start multiplying and developing into plasma cells, allowing you to begin to shift forms. Because the plasma cells have already been trained to produce antibodies against the organism, they are able to produce a large number of antibodies very quickly (within hours).

The antibodies attach to the invading organisms and prevent them from attacking your healthy cells by sending them through a separate passage way and send out antibodies to contradict the rejection that your body will have against the foreign DNA. And because the antibodies are produced so quickly, they are able to fight off any rejection effects before you even get sick.

This accelerated and more intense immune response generated by the memory B cells is known as the secondary response. It is faster and more effective because all the preparations for the attack were made when you were injected with Malfephine.

The Pros of Malfephine when used in warfare

  1. You will be able to shape shift into something small, and go across enemy lines undetected.
  2. You will be able to shape shift into an animal that is big and strong enough to lift heavy machinery and weapons for fellow soldiers.
  3. You will be able to act as a form of transportation if a soldier were to be wounded and had to be treated immediately.

Cons to Malfephine

  1. When you shift into the animal of your choice, you take on the nature of that animal for a short (or long) period of time until you are able to control yourself and reobtain your human thoughts and reasoning.
  2. There is no guarantee of you being able to control you, or others being able to control you when you are in your animalistic state.
  3. When in your animal form, you will be unable to communicate on a verbal level with humans.
  4. For each animal that you would like to shift into, you must be injected with their DNA and have your own sequence altered.
  5. Whenever you are injected with the DNA of an animal, anytime you are near said animal, you will automatically begin to change from your human form to your animal form- it is not controllable, according to research so far. However, you will be able to shift back into your human form once you are a good enough distance away. Hair or parts of whole animals that you come into contact with may also cause you to glitch from human to animal, depending on the circumstance.