Holding Space

Just walk with me...we'll figure out where we're going later

Greetings from the virtual desk of NHA!

Last week’s challenge was to incorporate “I need…” statements into your communication when your child’s compliance is required. Here’s another way to think about “I need…”

I am a problem solver. I like nothing better than to roll up my sleeves, put on my thinking cap and dive right into a really juicy problem that needs solving. That’s one of the ways I identify myself. However, sometimes, people (children included) really don’t need that particular skill. Instead they just need someone to hold space for them.

When we hold space for someone else, we are there for them the way that they need us rather than what we think they need- “We are willing to walk alongside them in whatever journey they’re on.”

Holding space takes conscious action on my part because it is not my default. I’m practicing saying things like, “did you want my help solving this or are you just needing to tell someone about it?” OR “how can I be helpful to you right now?”. This helps clarify what the other person is hoping to get from me. It’s also a great reminder that I can ask others for what I need from them.

Of course, the other side of the coin is if I’m asking people to tell me what they need, I need to be willing to do the same.

During these tough times, telling someone what you need is not only okay, but it’s helpful. Many of us who are parents or those who work in helping roles are so used to being there for others, that we forget to advocate for ourselves. Yup. You know this is true! This new virtual reality that we find ourselves in adds a whole other layer because we don’t have our normal methods of support available to us.

It’s okay to ask someone to hold space for you by telling them you just want to-rant about what is driving you crazy, watch a stupid movie, laugh, take a walk, or (fill in the blank). Besides having a better chance of getting your needs met, it provides your “space holder” with a recipe for how to be most helpful which makes all the difference in the world.

So problem solvers like me, how will you make space for others today?

To you and your child's Significance, Humanity & GREATNESS!!!!