The New Kingdom Times

STORIES OF OUR TIME: Dean, Asher, and Max


WE HAVE BREAKING NEWS. We have just been notified that our loyal, great teenager king Tutankhamun has been injured. The rumor is that he was badly injured in a chariot accident. We hope this isn’t true. We are not sure where he is. All we know is that he was our best king and he changed the religion of our world and is better than his ancestors at reigning. The world will end. The gods have taken Tutankhamun and will end the world. Stay posted to see if our beloved king has died or if he has recovered from this so called “accident”.

Blast From the Past

The Story of Akhenaten

With all the chaos surrounding the Egyptian Pharaoh as of today we will look back at the life of his father, Akhenaten. Akhenaten was the Pharaoh of Egypt right Before Tutankhamun took the throne. He was married to the gorgeous Nefertiti and was a fairly different leader mentally and physically. If you remember Akhenaten, he made lots of bold moves. One very bad thing that he wanted to do and did do was change the religion. He did it in a very convincing fashion. He also made another shaky move by changing the way statues are carved. All leaders wanted to look like the leader before them. Akhenaten wanted his statues to look the same as he did. He looked different then most men and had some body structures a women would have. Overall, it was not the best idea changing what has been a part of Egyptian history since the start and he wasn't the most liked pharaoh ever.

Nefertiti the Beautiful

Nefertiti. One of the most beautiful people in our world. The mother of Tutankhamun and the beloved main wife of Akhenaten. It has been rumored that as soon as you take a look at the beautiful Nefertiti, you will be in love for the rest of your jealous life. Oh, how I just wish I was a pharaoh and could have a wife as beautiful as the great Nefertiti. Now that it has been rumored that Tutankhamun has been injured and his whereabouts are unknown by most, I caught up with her to see how she was. One of the things she said was, “All I hope is that my little Tutankhamun will be fine. I myself do not know where he is.” Our prayers are with Tut as well as Egypt hopes that Tutankhamun is okay.

Chariot For Sale!

This brand new model, designed by the best engineers in Egypt, is perfect for all of your transportation needs. Whether it be traveling with goods, or any other needs, the brand new Chariot model A is perfect for you! For more info, write to 999 golden bread way.

Consumer Alert

We were taking a stroll through the food market and we got to try lots of food. We really liked Cafe Loritz. They had just casual meat such as geese, duck, and fish from the nile. When we interviewed the owner we discovered they only use the best cuts of meat in Egypt. We think you guys should give it a try. Also, Mick’s bakery is not a good place to visit. We found cheap cuts of meat. And when we went into the kitchen, they had lots of bugs and insects. So do not put Mick’s on your list.

The Next Pharoph

Now that king Tutankhamun is injured, we fear the doctors may not be able to save him. So the attention turns toward who will be the successor of “the boy king”. We here at the New Kingdom Times have an inside look at just about anything related to Egypt. According to multiple unnamed sources, we believe Aye, the nephew of Tutankhamen, will take the throne. He has been around politics for a few years now and is ready to be pharaoh. He is a good kid and is very intellectual. So, if Tutankhamen dies (god forbid), we will have good leadership in Aye. But we are still holding out hope that Tutankhamun, “the boy king” will live past his rumored chariot accident.

Get Into Fashion

New clothes are being made at the new store, Abu’s Clothing, on Golden Bread Way. They are the finest clothes in Egypt. They are made with linen and kept simple. For men, they have for sale many short loincloths resembling a kilt. For the women, they have for sale many dresses with different lengths with straps. The color of all the clothing is white. The clothes wrap around your body and can be held together with a belt. So get in your chariot and get the latest fashions from Abu’s Clothing.

Events This Weekend

This weekend is a busy time. There are many festivals and events that take place during the weekend. The popular fashion festival takes place this weekend. There will be fashion shows, parties, and clothing for sale. Also, The local farming festival will take place this weekend. There will be music, food, and exotic fruits for sale, along with temporary food markets. Farther away there will be the Grande Auction. This auction will feature only the most expensive and precious objects in Egypt. Many of the rich and famous will gather to try and buy the best of the best antiques. The prices will be very high so there will be no commoners at the Grande Auction this weekend. But, if you aren’t, you still have the Farming Festival and the Fashion festival to go to and have fun this fine weekend.

Aburahama's School

Aburahama’s School is looking for wealthy boys to join his school. The school is located 30 miles west of the Great Pyramids . They are teaching the writing language cuneiform and will be learning how to be an Egyptian citizen. If you are a wealthy boy and need an education apply to Aburahama’s School today. It offers an amazing education for boys to grow up and become rich scribes and have a successful life. So if you can afford it, send your boy to Aburahama’s School today!

Tutankhamun's Tomb Mystery

Again, as we’ve mentioned already, King Tutankhamun has been injured, according to various rumors. But, as he is so young (19 to be exact), there is no plan for his tomb. He has also not written a will stating what he wants to lay with in his final resting place. There has been no tomb constructed so the consensus among reporters is that officials will throw him into an empty tomb. Nobody knows where they will put him, soi at least if he dies, there will be a low probability of tomb robbery as opposed to other pharaohs that resting places for them were known. This is a developing story and there will be more on the mystery of where King Tutankhamun will lay. For now, let’s pray that our holy king will live.