The New Kingdom Times
STORIES OF OUR TIME: Dean, Asher, and Max
WE HAVE BREAKING NEWS. We have just been notified that our loyal, great teenager king Tutankhamun has been injured. The rumor is that he was badly injured in a chariot accident. We hope this isn’t true. We are not sure where he is. All we know is that he was our best king and he changed the religion of our world and is better than his ancestors at reigning. The world will end. The gods have taken Tutankhamun and will end the world. Stay posted to see if our beloved king has died or if he has recovered from this so called “accident”.
Blast From the Past
The Story of Akhenaten
Nefertiti the Beautiful
Nefertiti. One of the most beautiful people in our world. The mother of Tutankhamun and the beloved main wife of Akhenaten. It has been rumored that as soon as you take a look at the beautiful Nefertiti, you will be in love for the rest of your jealous life. Oh, how I just wish I was a pharaoh and could have a wife as beautiful as the great Nefertiti. Now that it has been rumored that Tutankhamun has been injured and his whereabouts are unknown by most, I caught up with her to see how she was. One of the things she said was, “All I hope is that my little Tutankhamun will be fine. I myself do not know where he is.” Our prayers are with Tut as well as Egypt hopes that Tutankhamun is okay.
We were taking a stroll through the food market and we got to try lots of food. We really liked Cafe Loritz. They had just casual meat such as geese, duck, and fish from the nile. When we interviewed the owner we discovered they only use the best cuts of meat in Egypt. We think you guys should give it a try. Also, Mick’s bakery is not a good place to visit. We found cheap cuts of meat. And when we went into the kitchen, they had lots of bugs and insects. So do not put Mick’s on your list.
The Next Pharoph
Now that king Tutankhamun is injured, we fear the doctors may not be able to save him. So the attention turns toward who will be the successor of “the boy king”. We here at the New Kingdom Times have an inside look at just about anything related to Egypt. According to multiple unnamed sources, we believe Aye, the nephew of Tutankhamen, will take the throne. He has been around politics for a few years now and is ready to be pharaoh. He is a good kid and is very intellectual. So, if Tutankhamen dies (god forbid), we will have good leadership in Aye. But we are still holding out hope that Tutankhamun, “the boy king” will live past his rumored chariot accident.
Get Into Fashion
New clothes are being made at the new store, Abu’s Clothing, on Golden Bread Way. They are the finest clothes in Egypt. They are made with linen and kept simple. For men, they have for sale many short loincloths resembling a kilt. For the women, they have for sale many dresses with different lengths with straps. The color of all the clothing is white. The clothes wrap around your body and can be held together with a belt. So get in your chariot and get the latest fashions from Abu’s Clothing.
Events This Weekend
Tutankhamun's Tomb Mystery
Again, as we’ve mentioned already, King Tutankhamun has been injured, according to various rumors. But, as he is so young (19 to be exact), there is no plan for his tomb. He has also not written a will stating what he wants to lay with in his final resting place. There has been no tomb constructed so the consensus among reporters is that officials will throw him into an empty tomb. Nobody knows where they will put him, soi at least if he dies, there will be a low probability of tomb robbery as opposed to other pharaohs that resting places for them were known. This is a developing story and there will be more on the mystery of where King Tutankhamun will lay. For now, let’s pray that our holy king will live.