We all shun our adversities, but are they really that bad?

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The Good and The Bad

People say perseverance is key to surviving in life, but why would one persevere to begin with? Adversities. An adversity is a hardship in life. Its what keeps us going and pushes us to set goals. The affects of an adversity is powerful and can shape and mold your future in both a good way and a bad. It is all, as they say, in the eye of the beholder. Depending on how you deal with an adversity, you can become stronger and wiser or helpless and weak-minded. The affects have several similarities. Both affects mold your future and character and change your insight. The affects also both teach a lesson. The difference is that if you deal with it properly, it guarantees success and if you deal with it roughly and can't cope well then you will get negatively influenced and as a result you will not be as successful as someone who deals better with adversities.

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Adversity is the reason one perseveres, but how do you reach the point of perseverance? An adversity is the one way trip to either failure or triumph but there are other steps you need to take to ensure victory and perseverance. Here are the steps you will need:

Step 1: Persistence- Persistence is a noun which means, according to the dictionary, "firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition; the continued or prolonged existence of something." When overcoming an adversity, you have to be persistent and have a set goal. An example of someone who persisted is Steve Jobs. Although he faced several problems, he kept going even though he could have stopped.

Step 2: Reason- You must have a reason to overcome the adversity. If you don’t have any reason to work for something you might give up and not pay much attention to the adversity. An example of someone who went through this is Coco Chanel. When Coco Chanel was found having an affair with a German solider during World War I. Out of fear, Coco closed her boutique and was in "hiding" for 15 years but made a comeback at the age of 71 and stole back her rightful place of being Europe's best designer.

Step 3: Long-Term Goals- when overcoming an adversity, you have to break the process up in steps so you can tackle the problem one by one. To accomplish this, there has to be a long-term goal. A long-term goal does not necessarily have to be what your trying to overcome, it can also be what your trying to get at after you have got through the problem at hand. One person who demonstrated this is Lexi Youngberg. Lexi not only overcame getting used to a prosthetic leg, but also persevered in returning in all her favorite sports such as surfing, running, swimming, and plays sports such as soccer.

Step 4: Acceptance-The last yet most important thing to overcome an adversity is acceptance. A lot of people out there create more adversities for themselves by not being content with what they accomplished and start nitpicking everything. One person like this is Alan Turning. Alan Turning was best known for the enigma. He broke a cryptic German message and won the Battle of Atlantic. Although people often criticized his idea which later turned into the design for the first ever computer, he lived in the moment and followed his heart.

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Focus on the Solution, Not the Problem

For every problem there is a solution. The solution is how you would overcome the problem, or adversity, to begin with. The book Blindsided by Priscilla Cummings demonstrates problem solution in the best way. The story takes you through the life of a girl, Natalie, who discovers that she is slowly going blind. Natalie faces many issues throughout the novel such as not being able to cope with her issue and being omitted from activities when it came to friends back home from before she was blind. She had to leave her home and start fresh between people she didn't want to be like. Although she faced these problems and many more, Natalie had eventually found the solution to every problem. Persistence. Will-power. Hope. She was wiling to do whatever it took to not let her problem alter her life. She kept trying to be the same and refused to give up. She hoped and prayed that her issue would disappear that she would overcome it. She had hope that she had what it took to accomplish her goals. And she did. Going blind did affect her, but it made her stronger. She realized that she didn't need friends that let a simple disability come between them. She realized being blind isn't that bad and that she can learn how to read and write brail if she really tries. Her problem was coping with a disability and the solution was persistency.

Book info from: Blindsided by Priscilla Cummings

Everything Happens for a Reason

Life is a big cycle filled with cause and effect. You get a scrape which is the cause and it effects you by inflicting pain. You get concert tickets which effects you by making you happy. Cause and effects aren't always as simple as you healing from a scrape or being joyful after getting tickets to your favorite concert. Something has to happen first to cause you to have an adversity which then leads to persistency and then, eventually, perseverance. One person who has been heavily impacted by the cause and effect cycle in there life is Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson was born in a time were racism was still around. No matter how extraordinary his voice might of been, nobody would want to listen to him because he was African American. That became the cause of his multiple plastic surgeries in hope to become white. Michael jack son also faced abuse. This caused, as Michael stated, him to be physically and emotionally harmed. In his fathers views, the beatings caused his kids to behave and stay out of jail. Though the cause and effect cycle constantly turned Michael Jackson's life upside down, he still made his name as the "king of Pop".

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Michael Jackson whispers to Oprah . . . Listen carefully!

Speaking Out, if not, Help Out

When going through an adversity, you should not only follow the steps of how to overcome it but you should also get outside input on the situation. You should always tell an adult or friend what your going through so you can look at the issue with an open mind. An adversity is the most important piece of perseverance and as great as it is to be able to overcome it on your own, there is nothing wrong with asking for help. And that's not always easy, so as an individual, you should know if someone is suffering through something. For example if some friend is having an issue you should know without them telling you. Characteristics of someone going through and adversity such as depression are: loss of interest in things that were previously pleasurable, sleep difficulties, eating changes, anger and irritability, expressing negative thoughts, loss of confidence in oneself, and suicidal ideas. The best way to help someone is to be compassionate and understanding. You should show empathy and sympathy towards somebody going through a rough time. The 3 things you should never do, is be silent, say that you have already "been there, done that", and install false hope. Silence makes it seem that you're scared of them or that they are suddenly not normal. You should always talk to them and show no harsh difference in attitude. You should never think that they are not going through a rough time just because you've already been through something like that. You should be compassionate and offer your expertise on the situation but never harshly. Most importantly, never install false hope. For instance, never say "I'll do anything" even though you can't. If the adversity consists of something like a physical disability and they ask for your leg, don't give them false hope of saying you'll do "anything" because you wouldn't actually give your leg to them. Instead say something along the lines of "What can I do to help?" It's not always easy to speak out about an adversity, that's where you have to step in and help out before it's to late.

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Article By: Arti Rathore