Week 23: Valar Bonurghulis
All peens must die
Ur all hella dumm
The rest of us finished:
NeonDion PewpMachine: 20
Zamboners: 19
Joan Smoothers: 19
THAT IS NOT AN ELBOW: 17
The Cat's Meow: 14
Dangleberry Droplets: 14
SHARPNADO: 12
Hot Ice Beast: 9
Lamorneus Power: 7
Of course Saksen weasels into the playoffs with only 9 LOTNs the entire year. BLOOMBERG KNOWS NO LOTN.
Lines of the Night
Monday: NeonDion PewpMachine: 1g, 2a, 8pim, 1ppp, 25sog, 63fw, 11hit, 6blk
Tuesday: Joan Smoothers: 2g, 4a, -3, 7pim, 2ppp, 21sog, 22fw, 21hit, 7blk, 1.51gaa, 62sv, .954sv%, 1sho
Wednesday: Joan Smoothers: 1a, +2, 6sog, 5fw, 3hit, 8blk
Thursday: Hot Ice Beast: 5g, 6a, +11, 8pim, 3ppp, 32sog, 28fw, 13hit, 10blk, 4.08gaa, 27sv, .871sv%
Friday: Joan Smoothers: 4g, 3a, +5, 10pim, 1ppp, 30sog, 6fw, 19hit, 10blk
Saturday: Hot Ice Beast: 4g, 5a, +1, 4pim, 4ppp, 24sog, 18fw, 12hit, 5blk
Sunday: Hot Ice Beast: 5g, 4a, +9, 6pim, 2ppp, 25sog, 47fw, 4hit, 3blk
Let's Play a Game
It's called: "Who would Ged have crushed during his bye week?"
I’ll cut to the chase as is Hot Ice tradition as of late, and let you know that I would’ve put cases on all y’all punk asses with an extra-saucy line of
23g, 21a, -6, 44pim, 16ppp, 161sog, 179fw, 89hit, 44blk, 3.00gaa, 158sv, .897sv%
In case you were wondering how you would fare against the regular season’s most implosive manager:
Vs. Hot Ice Beast: 10-2
You're fuckin out!
Vs. Joan Smoothers: 7-6
You're fuckin out!
Vs. NeonDion PewpMachine: 9-3
You're definitely fuckin out!
Vs. CatPasey: 8-4
You're fuckin out!
Also
I'm out
Of playoffs
As of this Sunday night
Week 23 Matchups
Brian snap chats victory beer en route to sun (Beast 7, Joan 6):
If it weren’t for Icharus-filled moments like Brian's Sunday pre-victory beer snap chat, then I wouldn't feel so bad about never making it past the semis in fantasy sports. Saksen ties Pete for this week's WWW award, as his Chris Neil pickup, while not delivering the PIMs, delivered the sog to oust Brian from his ivory tower. It may be true that the Olympics crippled Brian's chances of Ziggly glory, but the fantasy hubris crippled his shot at playing for third place glory (or maybe first? Probably third.).
I happened to come across some videos of Brian during Sunday's home stretch:
Pete bitches and moans....then wins (Neon 6, Pasey 6):
As usual, Pat was silent throughout the entire matchup. See you next year?
Week 23 Awards
Golden Boner: Hot Ice Beast, NeonDion PewpMachine
Waiver Wire Wizard: NeonDion PewpMachine, Hot Ice Beast
Icharus: Joan Smoothers
Week 24 Predictions
THAT IS NOT A Pewp: There are three things guaranteed in life:
- Death
- Taxes
- Pete beating me in the playoffs
Pewp 8, Elbows 4
BeastNADO: This one seems mighty close still, but I think Saksen can pull it off. Austin, much like me, is suffering from BWR sydrome. My case is chronic, however. Bridesmaid 7, SHARP 5
Piss off,
G<3d