Middle Colonies!

For 3 choices, this ones the best!

Come to the best temperatured colonies

The temperature here sure is swell! Warm summers make the temperature here the best.

Believe in a Flying Spaghetti Monster? That's okay!

In the middle colonies, you won't be judged on your religion. We accept all belief here!

Education? What's that like here?

Well, we believe our education is important, but not required. So if your kid thinks the world revolves around potatoes (which isn't disproven) he should share his genius or ignorance in our schools!

Guaranteed to be better than wherever you're from!

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