BREAKING NEWS:

All Cats Have Disappeared. Everywhere.

WHAT. Where is my cat?!

Many San Diego residents woke up this morning to find that their beloved furry little humans to be completely gone. Joe Momma, an eyewitness, stated "It just seemed like my Kent Karlsburger Jr. had just gone up and left! Just POOF and gone, y'know what I mean?"
Scientists across the country have thrown themselves into investigations and researching the phenomenom.

NO, REALLY WHERE IS MY CAT?!

The most popular hypothesis among the top heads of science believe this was just a Kitty-Rapture. Simply, it was their cosmic time to go, as chosen by the mytical powers that be. Others, mainly Dr. Keinsen Von Doom, a celebrated fraud and loon, is pushing forward the crack-pot theory that cats were never real in the first place, just some sort of creations of our psyche.

DON'T PANIC. WE ARE WORKING ON IT.

If you have any tips or information regarding cats, please contact your local police department.