By: Kevin Sweeney (The Sexiest Man Alive)

Day One - The McSwagsters Start Their Journey

Well hello, My name is Tyrone McSwagster. I am a banker going on the oregon trail with my amazing family. I am going with my beautiful wife Taiwanda, my 16 year old son Kevin, My 10 year old son Achmed, my 4 year old daughter Megatron, and my grumpy old dad Jesus.

A little while on my journey, there is a river we have to cross the options were to either cross the river ouselves or take a Ferry. I took the ferry just in case because I didn't want to die.

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Szekely, Pedro. Vlatva River, Prague. Digital image. N.p., 20 May 2009. Web. 10 Mar. 2015.

Day Two - Stellar Seconds

Today has gone very well. I went hunting for some food and found and got 10 pounds of beef. My wagon train then was encountered by a friendly native american and my wagon leader had to test her skills. Luckily her skills were proven worthy and we got some ammunition.

I really want to try my best to not mess with the Native American because my dad, Jesus, said "Son we're irish, we don't wanna be the the brits now, do we?" I guess he did have a point, so I want to make sure I want to be a good person.

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Brenn, Moyan. Rifle. Digital image. N.p., 22 Jan. 2012. Web. 10 Mar. 2015.

Day Three - I Think You Get The "Point"

Today didn't go too well, we decided to not disturb a native american burial ground because we wanted to be nice. But then we were forced to go back because there wasn't enough water. Then I crashed my wagon into a cactus and now I have thorns all over me, and last but definetly not least, my dad jesus died. Then my wagon tipped over and I lost literally everything. This Journey better be worth it or I will probably lose my mind.
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Gill, Tom. Cactus. Digital image. N.p., 21 June 2007. Web. 12 Mar. 2015.

Day Four - S-So H-Hungry, S-So C-Cold...

Our wagon train leader has decided that there is no hope left. We decided to take a route that we were likely to die on. We are now trapped in snow, I am so hungry. My daughter, Megatron looks, delicious, and she tasted delicious. I have now ate all my family, Taiwanda, Kevin, and Achmed are now in my belly. I am so cold... I'm not going to make it... Goodbye cruel w-world...
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Kracht, David. The Path of the Righteous Man... Digital image. N.p., 24 Dec. 2013. Web. 12 Mar. 2015.