Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous
Reflections of a Baby Boomer by Joyce Nanette Johnson
Over 50 Ain't Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer
“Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer”, is a humorous look at the real lives of Boomers, vs. the media’s unrealistic view of some sexy, energized person that only exists in some marketing mavens’ mind. There are many of these advertising darlings out there, but “Over Fifty Ain't Always Fabulous” isn't aimed at those Boomers, but it is for those who have survived the scrapes and bumps of life, but are not as shiny or energetic as some of our touted counterparts.
Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous laughs out loud at the present and then takes you on a sentimental visit to the past examining how the same situation means different results for Boomers today.
Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous is a shout out to the past, examination of the present, and a celebration of life’s poignant but hysterical
journey.
“Boomers have always been vocal, boisterous, have a history of implementing social and political change and can still sway advertisers with our discretionary income, if we have any money left at the end of the month. Through humor and poignancy, my new book will have fellow Baby Boomers laughing at the past and present.
It’s important for us to have a light-hearted view on life. My drugs cupboard is full to the brim with pills of all sizes and colors (if you were to see it you’d think I was making money from it) and I can’t exert too much energy without rolling on the floor with a writhing Charlie horse – but this is a small price to pay for the lives we Boomers have lived. My book celebrates all that is great about being over fifty – even if I can’t really get my eyes to focus properly on the pages!
Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer invites you along for the comical ride that is accompanied with hearty, out loud in your face laughter,” said Johnson.
Purchase Over 50 Ain't Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer
by Joyce Nanette Johnson
Link: http://amzn.com/148417626X
Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous laughs out loud at the present and then takes you on a sentimental visit to the past examining how the same situation means different results for Boomers today.
Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous is a shout out to the past, examination of the present, and a celebration of life’s poignant but hysterical
journey.
“Boomers have always been vocal, boisterous, have a history of implementing social and political change and can still sway advertisers with our discretionary income, if we have any money left at the end of the month. Through humor and poignancy, my new book will have fellow Baby Boomers laughing at the past and present.
It’s important for us to have a light-hearted view on life. My drugs cupboard is full to the brim with pills of all sizes and colors (if you were to see it you’d think I was making money from it) and I can’t exert too much energy without rolling on the floor with a writhing Charlie horse – but this is a small price to pay for the lives we Boomers have lived. My book celebrates all that is great about being over fifty – even if I can’t really get my eyes to focus properly on the pages!
Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer invites you along for the comical ride that is accompanied with hearty, out loud in your face laughter,” said Johnson.
Purchase Over 50 Ain't Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer
by Joyce Nanette Johnson
Link: http://amzn.com/148417626X
Excerpt Opening: Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer
I have a few words to say, “Fifty ain’t always fabulous”. There I’ve said it. I’ve said it and you know what? I’m glad I said it. You probably want to say it too, but you’re scared to say it.
Scared of the rhetoric and gasps of dis-belief that will come from those so-called cougars that you see in a magazine that are artfully draped over a cliff, as the Greek Isles dashes waves of glorious blue-green water over her. Then there is always a man staring at her with obsessed, hooded eyes.
You’re scared that your world does not measure up to the professionally made-up actors on TV. These women are shouting out a challenge to you and I suspect you think you can’t live up to the hype. However, what they’re asking us to believe is “the hype”.
My back would laugh at me and taunt me, “Go on and try it you old fool and watch what I do to you!” My upper and lower torso would be plotting their sadistic revenge if I ever thought I could lounge against hard rock. I would end up dying on that rock as the water gurgled in my lungs because I couldn’t get up.
Where is this sexy, vibrant older woman that we see on the TV? She does not live in my house nor take up residence in my mirrors. Ladies, if you were not that hot looking when you were young do not believe the hype that you will turn into this wild, unleashed, beautifully sculpted cougar. At times I look like an old toothless, clawless, scruffy house cat only waiting for a bowl of warm milk for pure contentment.
Clothes Today and Then
I remember I used to like everything tight. I liked tight jeans that showed off my perfectly rounded butt. My butt at this point does not need to be showed off; it is the most visible part of my body. It will take over any space without being invited. Even when I am staring straight ahead looking at you, my butt can be seen poking from around the back. It intrudes its way into the conversation. It is a rude, obnoxious appendage that wants to flaunt its appearance at any occasion. It is almost another person complete with its own personal 5 o’clock shadow and zip code. Neither diets, nor exercise can undo the big booty.
Dancing
I have observed some of the people in the clubs dancing today. I could not be a “Hoochie Mama Dancer” of today. I don’t think I could “Drop it Like It’s Hot”. If I drop it, it will still be there until the paramedics come to pick me and “it” off the floor. Sexual contortions and gyrations would only cause a late run to the drug store for a new heat pack. My idea of going low to the floor is to point my head down and bob it in unison to the music.
Mother-Daughter Relationships
When did I become the caregiver of my mother? Now in my 50’s the music has switched to a new tempo for both of us. In the beginning it was she who led and it was me who followed. As the last mournful sound is played the positions are switched. I was silently elected to a position that I never envisioned would come. I cannot remember the exact day that the exchange took place and our parallel worlds tumbled into a vortex and intermixed into and we have now evolved into almost a new species.
Exercise
I will not go to a gym, because I do not want to go to jail for assaulting a youngster with a perfect uplifted body in every area and strangling her after I hear for the hundredth time in an exasperated tone “ Now, really now. Is that the best we can do?” These stressful reproachful words are muttered after I can’t keep up in Zumba class or had gotten entangled in the sports equipment and had to be helped down.
( Continued... )
© 2013 All rights reserved. Book excerpt reprinted by permission of the author, Joyce Nanette Johnson. Do not reproduce, copy or use without the author's written permission. Copyright infringement is a serious offense. This excerpt is used for promotional purposes only. Share a link to this page or the author's website if you really like this sneak peek.
Over 50 Ain't Always Fabulous-Reflections of a Baby Boomer
by Joyce Nanette Johnson
Link: http://amzn.com/148417626X
Meet the Author
Joyce Nanette Johnson is a freelance writer based in St. Petersburg, FL. Born in Newark, NJ she grew on the central Jersey shore, in Long Branch, NJ. For many years Florida has been her adopted home. Joyce Nanette Johnson has been a contributing writer for The Tampabay Times, correspondent for the Weekly Challenger and St. Pete Bulletin newspapers, and was a columnist for Citilife Magazine.
Her first acceptance was for a short story for Essence Magazine. She is the owner of Joydee Productions, which developed and produced websites for community organizations and other public relations projects.
Joyce Nanette Johnson was a finalist in 2010 and 2011 Tampabay Chapter of the National Association of Black Journalists Awards. Ms. Johnson was the recipient of the 2011 Women in Communications Award presented by the Gathering of Women, Inc. St. Petersburg, FL
Scared of the rhetoric and gasps of dis-belief that will come from those so-called cougars that you see in a magazine that are artfully draped over a cliff, as the Greek Isles dashes waves of glorious blue-green water over her. Then there is always a man staring at her with obsessed, hooded eyes.
You’re scared that your world does not measure up to the professionally made-up actors on TV. These women are shouting out a challenge to you and I suspect you think you can’t live up to the hype. However, what they’re asking us to believe is “the hype”.
My back would laugh at me and taunt me, “Go on and try it you old fool and watch what I do to you!” My upper and lower torso would be plotting their sadistic revenge if I ever thought I could lounge against hard rock. I would end up dying on that rock as the water gurgled in my lungs because I couldn’t get up.
Where is this sexy, vibrant older woman that we see on the TV? She does not live in my house nor take up residence in my mirrors. Ladies, if you were not that hot looking when you were young do not believe the hype that you will turn into this wild, unleashed, beautifully sculpted cougar. At times I look like an old toothless, clawless, scruffy house cat only waiting for a bowl of warm milk for pure contentment.
Clothes Today and Then
I remember I used to like everything tight. I liked tight jeans that showed off my perfectly rounded butt. My butt at this point does not need to be showed off; it is the most visible part of my body. It will take over any space without being invited. Even when I am staring straight ahead looking at you, my butt can be seen poking from around the back. It intrudes its way into the conversation. It is a rude, obnoxious appendage that wants to flaunt its appearance at any occasion. It is almost another person complete with its own personal 5 o’clock shadow and zip code. Neither diets, nor exercise can undo the big booty.
Dancing
I have observed some of the people in the clubs dancing today. I could not be a “Hoochie Mama Dancer” of today. I don’t think I could “Drop it Like It’s Hot”. If I drop it, it will still be there until the paramedics come to pick me and “it” off the floor. Sexual contortions and gyrations would only cause a late run to the drug store for a new heat pack. My idea of going low to the floor is to point my head down and bob it in unison to the music.
Mother-Daughter Relationships
When did I become the caregiver of my mother? Now in my 50’s the music has switched to a new tempo for both of us. In the beginning it was she who led and it was me who followed. As the last mournful sound is played the positions are switched. I was silently elected to a position that I never envisioned would come. I cannot remember the exact day that the exchange took place and our parallel worlds tumbled into a vortex and intermixed into and we have now evolved into almost a new species.
Exercise
I will not go to a gym, because I do not want to go to jail for assaulting a youngster with a perfect uplifted body in every area and strangling her after I hear for the hundredth time in an exasperated tone “ Now, really now. Is that the best we can do?” These stressful reproachful words are muttered after I can’t keep up in Zumba class or had gotten entangled in the sports equipment and had to be helped down.
( Continued... )
© 2013 All rights reserved. Book excerpt reprinted by permission of the author, Joyce Nanette Johnson. Do not reproduce, copy or use without the author's written permission. Copyright infringement is a serious offense. This excerpt is used for promotional purposes only. Share a link to this page or the author's website if you really like this sneak peek.
Over 50 Ain't Always Fabulous-Reflections of a Baby Boomer
by Joyce Nanette Johnson
Link: http://amzn.com/148417626X
Meet the Author
Joyce Nanette Johnson is a freelance writer based in St. Petersburg, FL. Born in Newark, NJ she grew on the central Jersey shore, in Long Branch, NJ. For many years Florida has been her adopted home. Joyce Nanette Johnson has been a contributing writer for The Tampabay Times, correspondent for the Weekly Challenger and St. Pete Bulletin newspapers, and was a columnist for Citilife Magazine.
Her first acceptance was for a short story for Essence Magazine. She is the owner of Joydee Productions, which developed and produced websites for community organizations and other public relations projects.
Joyce Nanette Johnson was a finalist in 2010 and 2011 Tampabay Chapter of the National Association of Black Journalists Awards. Ms. Johnson was the recipient of the 2011 Women in Communications Award presented by the Gathering of Women, Inc. St. Petersburg, FL
Intimate Conversation with Joyce Nanette Johnson
Calling St. Petersburg her adopted home having lived here for two decades, Joyce Nanette Johnson was born and raised in the central shore area of New Jersey where she remembers looking forward to essay question tests throughout school.
“Even if I didn’t know what the test was about, all I needed were three key ideas about the subject and I’d make it happen,” Johnson said.
The night Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was slain, Johnson sat down and put pen to paper and came up with a free verse poem written from her heart. She sent a copy to the local newspaper and one to Dr. King’s wife, Coretta Scott King. Not only did the newspaper print the poem, but she received a thank you card from Mrs. King.
It was then that Johnson began to focus on developing her correspondence skills. The free verse poem was her first and last, but has continued to follow her dream of being a writer.
A veteran writer with years of experience, her work is showcased between the pages of various newspapers, periodicals and magazines. Her writing can be seen in the St. Petersburg Times, Citilife Magazine, St. Pete Bulletin, Essence Magazine, and The Weekly Challenger.
Joyce Nanette Johnson is the owner of Joydee Productions, which developed and produced websites for community organizations and other public relations projects. Joyce Nanette Johnson was a finalist in 2010 and 2011 Tampabay Chapter of the National Association of Black Journalists Awards. Ms. Johnson was the recipient of the 2011 Women in Communications Award presented by the Gathering of Women, Inc. St. Petersburg, FL.
Johnson is also a motivational speaker and is available for workshops or conferences. For more information, please call (727) 878-4845.
BPM: What is your favorite positive saying?
My favorite positive saying or daily mantra is “Be About Your Business.” Now ladies I’m not talking about that gossipy, nosey being in other people’s business like your neighbors, family members, or gossiping about what’s going on in the church with Sister Sneaky and Brother Up to No Good. Which is a total waste of valuable time that could be invested in “self” I’m talking about our “personal business.” The business that God and the fates have destined for us to fulfill. As women we have that nurturing spirit and we should be active and have a vested interest in our homes, our children, our mates, our community and the world at large.
But we need to have that purpose for which we were created to be nurtured also. We should carve a few precious moments out of our daily hectic lives for own personal dreams or destiny. My business is writing. I have often told my daughter Tracy when I am most tired and feel like quitting that if I don’t write, then the words will not get written.
If you don’t pick up that brush no colors will bloom on your canvas. If you do not take the initial baby steps to start that business you will not become a successful entrepreneur. But we as women pile more and more on our shoulders balancing the world’s problems, while our own dreams and desires are shoved to the bottom of the pile like dirty laundry.
Once you discover and admit to yourself that this is your dream. You have to “Be about Your Business”, make time for it, and treat it like a jealous lover. Every day the enemy devises more ways for me to stray from the path. Sometimes it can come disguised as family issues, at others times it rears its head as a day of hell with the boss from hell on the job, or just being depressed or tired. I have to remind myself every day to “Be about My Business”
BPM: What drove you to sit down and actually write the book?
The media drove me to do this. As a baby-boomer I laughed at all of the commercials and media hype that said all of us were sexy, exciting, vibrant, and fun. When in reality I am not a sexy cougar that can drop it like it’s hot. I’m more like a slow simmering chili, still hot but not bubbling. Commercials show us gleefully hiking down some exotic trail when in reality I am limping down the pathway plagued by arthritis and plantar fasciitis and the glee comes with the relief of mentholated ointment. I wanted to show the reality of women aging while reflecting a humorous bent to the bumpy ride.
I also wanted to share some baby-boomer type passages in life such as discos, baptismal marijuana smoking, and the joy that existed in sheer sexual abandonment with the advent of the pill and before diseases were racking up death fatalities. I wanted those in baby-boomer years to smile and have out loud belly laughs while their younger counterparts can get an actual picture of back in the day and also to let them know some of the things in store for them as their minds and bodies age.
As my mom says sarcastically you got to get old to experience some of this good stuff. Keep on living you’ll see.
BPM: Does your upbringing or life experiences inspire your writing?
Yes, all of my experiences have come together in this book. In the book I talk about what I am experiencing now and then I have a “Back in the Day” section for each chapter. For example I have a chapter on Mother-Daughter relationships. I compare how the roles have been exchanged, I am now the leader and she is the follower. I have taken on the role of caregiver, supporter, and staunch ally. I then go back in the day to relate to a school shopping spree that any daughter can relate to. My experiences that I shared with my best friend as a little girl, whispering secrets and giggling to the best friends of today who area wisecracking, flawed to perfection, and who will sit quietly as I twist and turn with some dire depression and is there is say after my tirade, “Snap out of it” about . The book is a comedic journey of all of the experiences throughout the different stages of my life.
BPM: Introduce as to your current work, what genre do you consider your book?
Funny, Funnier, Funniest and served with a slice of satire. The book is humorously written while taking a swipe at the hypocrisy of the media. I hope to share the fact that though we are Baby Boomers we are still laughing. I want people to laugh out loud at a passage that reminds them of their Mother or an Aunt. I want people to smile as they remember that school girl friend from long, forgotten years ago. And I want people to remember to chuckle as they laugh at themselves as they see themselves and others mirrored in the pages of the book. Aging ain’t perfect, but at the moment it’s the only game in town. Laugh, hold on tight and enjoy the ride.
The book takes you on a hysterical journey that explores how Baby boomers are dealing with some of the same issues they were dealing with in the past, but with a slightly different twist. It explores the sexuality of the Boomer, which though similar it is nothing like the “drop it like it’s hot” acrobatics of today. Another chapter is the Yin and Yang of Life: The biological changes of your period and Menopause. Here ladies I have not found either condition to be the wonderful life changing event they are heralded to be. It looks at clothes today and then and what it represented at the time.
Because the chapters are each divided into the now and back in the day it makes for fun stories about the difference in such subjects as exercise, clothes today and yesterday, and even the traditional family holiday is revisited. Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer is a shout out to the past, examination of the present, and a celebration of life’s poignant but hysterical journey
BPM: What is the writer’s responsibility to the reader?
To create a believable story that entertains, enlightens and takes the reader on a personal journey along with you. To never take my readers for granted.
BPM: What would you like the readers to take away from your writing?
For the Baby Boomers I want them to see themselves in the past and now in the present and laugh out loud. I want them to celebrate their journey with a smile and an “Oh Well” and satisfied sigh. I want them to know that the advertising is hype and it’s okay to ache and not be a slick cougar, you’re okay. You did not miss the boat. For the younger ones I want them to see and experience some of the world of the Boomers. I want them to feel our spirit, our passion, and the innovation that we brought into the world. I want them to join in the laughter when they read the words and it reminds them of their mothers, aunt, and grandmothers. I want them to know that when they arrive at this stage of life it’s gonna be alight if you just keep your perspective and find the humor in the progression.
Website: www.JoyceNanetteJohnson.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com\joyce.n.johnson.31
“Even if I didn’t know what the test was about, all I needed were three key ideas about the subject and I’d make it happen,” Johnson said.
The night Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was slain, Johnson sat down and put pen to paper and came up with a free verse poem written from her heart. She sent a copy to the local newspaper and one to Dr. King’s wife, Coretta Scott King. Not only did the newspaper print the poem, but she received a thank you card from Mrs. King.
It was then that Johnson began to focus on developing her correspondence skills. The free verse poem was her first and last, but has continued to follow her dream of being a writer.
A veteran writer with years of experience, her work is showcased between the pages of various newspapers, periodicals and magazines. Her writing can be seen in the St. Petersburg Times, Citilife Magazine, St. Pete Bulletin, Essence Magazine, and The Weekly Challenger.
Joyce Nanette Johnson is the owner of Joydee Productions, which developed and produced websites for community organizations and other public relations projects. Joyce Nanette Johnson was a finalist in 2010 and 2011 Tampabay Chapter of the National Association of Black Journalists Awards. Ms. Johnson was the recipient of the 2011 Women in Communications Award presented by the Gathering of Women, Inc. St. Petersburg, FL.
Johnson is also a motivational speaker and is available for workshops or conferences. For more information, please call (727) 878-4845.
BPM: What is your favorite positive saying?
My favorite positive saying or daily mantra is “Be About Your Business.” Now ladies I’m not talking about that gossipy, nosey being in other people’s business like your neighbors, family members, or gossiping about what’s going on in the church with Sister Sneaky and Brother Up to No Good. Which is a total waste of valuable time that could be invested in “self” I’m talking about our “personal business.” The business that God and the fates have destined for us to fulfill. As women we have that nurturing spirit and we should be active and have a vested interest in our homes, our children, our mates, our community and the world at large.
But we need to have that purpose for which we were created to be nurtured also. We should carve a few precious moments out of our daily hectic lives for own personal dreams or destiny. My business is writing. I have often told my daughter Tracy when I am most tired and feel like quitting that if I don’t write, then the words will not get written.
If you don’t pick up that brush no colors will bloom on your canvas. If you do not take the initial baby steps to start that business you will not become a successful entrepreneur. But we as women pile more and more on our shoulders balancing the world’s problems, while our own dreams and desires are shoved to the bottom of the pile like dirty laundry.
Once you discover and admit to yourself that this is your dream. You have to “Be about Your Business”, make time for it, and treat it like a jealous lover. Every day the enemy devises more ways for me to stray from the path. Sometimes it can come disguised as family issues, at others times it rears its head as a day of hell with the boss from hell on the job, or just being depressed or tired. I have to remind myself every day to “Be about My Business”
BPM: What drove you to sit down and actually write the book?
The media drove me to do this. As a baby-boomer I laughed at all of the commercials and media hype that said all of us were sexy, exciting, vibrant, and fun. When in reality I am not a sexy cougar that can drop it like it’s hot. I’m more like a slow simmering chili, still hot but not bubbling. Commercials show us gleefully hiking down some exotic trail when in reality I am limping down the pathway plagued by arthritis and plantar fasciitis and the glee comes with the relief of mentholated ointment. I wanted to show the reality of women aging while reflecting a humorous bent to the bumpy ride.
I also wanted to share some baby-boomer type passages in life such as discos, baptismal marijuana smoking, and the joy that existed in sheer sexual abandonment with the advent of the pill and before diseases were racking up death fatalities. I wanted those in baby-boomer years to smile and have out loud belly laughs while their younger counterparts can get an actual picture of back in the day and also to let them know some of the things in store for them as their minds and bodies age.
As my mom says sarcastically you got to get old to experience some of this good stuff. Keep on living you’ll see.
BPM: Does your upbringing or life experiences inspire your writing?
Yes, all of my experiences have come together in this book. In the book I talk about what I am experiencing now and then I have a “Back in the Day” section for each chapter. For example I have a chapter on Mother-Daughter relationships. I compare how the roles have been exchanged, I am now the leader and she is the follower. I have taken on the role of caregiver, supporter, and staunch ally. I then go back in the day to relate to a school shopping spree that any daughter can relate to. My experiences that I shared with my best friend as a little girl, whispering secrets and giggling to the best friends of today who area wisecracking, flawed to perfection, and who will sit quietly as I twist and turn with some dire depression and is there is say after my tirade, “Snap out of it” about . The book is a comedic journey of all of the experiences throughout the different stages of my life.
BPM: Introduce as to your current work, what genre do you consider your book?
Funny, Funnier, Funniest and served with a slice of satire. The book is humorously written while taking a swipe at the hypocrisy of the media. I hope to share the fact that though we are Baby Boomers we are still laughing. I want people to laugh out loud at a passage that reminds them of their Mother or an Aunt. I want people to smile as they remember that school girl friend from long, forgotten years ago. And I want people to remember to chuckle as they laugh at themselves as they see themselves and others mirrored in the pages of the book. Aging ain’t perfect, but at the moment it’s the only game in town. Laugh, hold on tight and enjoy the ride.
The book takes you on a hysterical journey that explores how Baby boomers are dealing with some of the same issues they were dealing with in the past, but with a slightly different twist. It explores the sexuality of the Boomer, which though similar it is nothing like the “drop it like it’s hot” acrobatics of today. Another chapter is the Yin and Yang of Life: The biological changes of your period and Menopause. Here ladies I have not found either condition to be the wonderful life changing event they are heralded to be. It looks at clothes today and then and what it represented at the time.
Because the chapters are each divided into the now and back in the day it makes for fun stories about the difference in such subjects as exercise, clothes today and yesterday, and even the traditional family holiday is revisited. Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer is a shout out to the past, examination of the present, and a celebration of life’s poignant but hysterical journey
BPM: What is the writer’s responsibility to the reader?
To create a believable story that entertains, enlightens and takes the reader on a personal journey along with you. To never take my readers for granted.
BPM: What would you like the readers to take away from your writing?
For the Baby Boomers I want them to see themselves in the past and now in the present and laugh out loud. I want them to celebrate their journey with a smile and an “Oh Well” and satisfied sigh. I want them to know that the advertising is hype and it’s okay to ache and not be a slick cougar, you’re okay. You did not miss the boat. For the younger ones I want them to see and experience some of the world of the Boomers. I want them to feel our spirit, our passion, and the innovation that we brought into the world. I want them to join in the laughter when they read the words and it reminds them of their mothers, aunt, and grandmothers. I want them to know that when they arrive at this stage of life it’s gonna be alight if you just keep your perspective and find the humor in the progression.
Website: www.JoyceNanetteJohnson.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com\joyce.n.johnson.31
