Social Media @ the Elementary Level
A Guide for Parents of Young Kids
Basic Gaming/Social Media Rules for Elementary School Aged Kids
While these sound like beneficial skills in the digital world that is the 21st century, parents often find themselves struggling to balance their kids' time online and offline. Despite many of these games appearing safe due to rules about behavior, kids (and grown ups posing as kids) may find ways around the rules. There are ways to talk to your kids about avoiding and responding to harmful behavior online.
Pediatricians agree that children under 6 should have limited access to screens. It is important to prioritize how that time is spent. Kids under 6 probably should not be active in virtual worlds. Without the skills to read and write, kids may become frustrated in these online platforms. There are many apps that offer children of this early elementary age beneficial skills, such as reading and math without the need to interact with others online.
It's important that kids and grown ups set up accounts together, creating usernames and passwords that are appropriate and secure. It is critical to emphasize that your child never shares passwords with anyone.
Remember that going online by themselves is like going to a play date unsupervised. The skills they have or don't have in real life are going to transfer into the online world as well. The best way to achieve supervision is to keep the devices in a central location and not allow devices in bedrooms. It's also important to set time limits to balance online play with activities that are good for your child's physical, mental, and emotional health.
It's a good idea to take time to check out the games your child is playing for yourself. Just because something is popular doesn't mean it's appropriate for your child. You know your child best. It's important to make educationally sound decisions for them.
Teaching your child how to behave online is one of the most important steps to creating successful digital citizenship. A good rule of thumb is "What Would Grandma Say?". If you wouldn't share it with Grandma, you probably shouldn't be putting it out there for all of the world to see/hear. If something online makes your child upset or uncomfortable, let them feel safe telling you or another trusted adult. Be sure you understand how to report inappropriate content and/or block users. Let them know that by doing this they are keeping the game safe (and fun) for others.
Finally, many apps require "in-app purchases". You can often limit your child's ability to make purchases through the parental controls on a device. This topic awards you the conversation with your child regarding family values and spending money. Parental controls are arguably the most underused and easily accessible resource parents have at their disposable.
The moral of the story is, the more invested you are in your kid's digital activity, the less of a risk it poses to your child and family.
Someone Posted Pictures or Videos of My Kids Online - NOW WHAT?!
Not everyone has the same views regarding consent to posting pictures or videos of their children online. It gets to be a slippery slope addressing this with friends and family. Instead of coming off aggressive and attacking their decision, it's important to be able to make your family's rules clear.
- Without judgment, you can ask the person to delete, crop, or put a sticker over your child in the post. This happens a lot with pictures taken at daycares and schools. Some phrases that might help are, "I'm not ready for this yet" or "I try to keep my kids' photos off of social media".
- Make it clear that adding names, locations, or tagging social media accounts can accelerate exposure and opens up online safety concerns.
- It's okay to have certain boundaries, but let people know where those boundaries lie. For example, would you be okay if it was just your child's face not in view? Ask for the privacy to be limited on the photo (only friends, only friends of friends, etc.).
- There are private sites that only invited people can see: Tinybeans, Flickr, Shutterfly. This limited viewers to only ones given a log in.
If you are met with resistance, explain to the poster that you are concerned about your child's privacy. They did not give consent to the photo being published and it remains on their digital footprint forever as once a post is shared online anyone can take a screenshot and share it.
Sticky Situation: Online Harrassment
Continue to talk about online safety: how to respond to offensive comments and what responsible behavior looks like online. It is important to keep the dialog between you and your child open. If your child doesn't want to talk to you, let them know the school counselor, teacher, or other trusted family member may be able to help. The site stopbullying.gov is a resource you can use to find more information on reporting cyberbullying.
Remember to continuously encourage your child never to do anything outside of their comfort zone (sharing passwords, talking to strangers, sending pictures, etc.). Kids can always use a reminder that anything they send can travel the world online.
Ask your child if they ever see things online that make them feel unsafe. This can include, but is not limited to: hate speech, racist comments, sexual harrassment, and bullying. Should they express concerns, have them ignore the person, take screenshots for evidence, block the person, and report it to an adult.
Online harrassment can be traumatic and negatively affect a child's mental health. If you suspect your child has been threatened or blackmailed, reach out to the school administration team and/or law enforcement for more help.
Keeping the discussion open between you and your child is an important step to feeling safe and supported. A great way to engage with your child about social media and apps is to ask who they follow and what they like about them. Showing an interest in their online lives and avoiding judgment helps to foster trust and support.
Canon-McMillan Elementary Counseling Department
If you'd like more information on the effects of social media on mental health, feel free to reach out to your school's counselor.
Borland Manor:
Megan Hoffman
724-745-2700 x4256
Hills-Hendersonville:
Jim Hughey
724-745-8390 x4116
Muse:
Tracie Sohyda (K-2)
724-745-9014 x2116
Jim Hughey (3-4)
724-745-9014 x2202
South Central:
Joanna McCullough
724-873-5228 x
Wylandville:
Megan Hoffman
724-222-2507 x4557