Welcome To Two Mills Pennsylvania

A Guide By Jeffery (Maniac) Magee

Welcome To Two Mills

Two Mills Pennsylvania is a town separated by color. A town split in two by separation of whites and blacks. Inside the town are two sides, the West and East Ends. West is for the Whites, and East is for the Blacks. Even though these separations may seem very black and white (no pun intended), they are not. Many people, white or black in Two Mills are nice, and of course some are mean. Two Mills is a town with welcoming people as well as not-so-welcoming people too. This guide will help you navigate around the good and bad of Two Mills Pennsylvania.
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The Division of Two Mills

A Survival Guide

Four Things Not To Do:

  1. Take a Bite Out of Mars Bar's Candy Bar- If Mars Bar ever asks you if you want a bite of his candy bar, don't do it. Mars doesn't mean it, at all. Mars is really a bully with a glare so powerful and legendary that it could stop cars dead in their tracks.
  2. Go Into The Finsterwald's Yard- The Finsterwald house is known as the last place that you want to be in the world. Mean old Finsterwald is always terrorizing kids and has a reputation of giving people the Finsterwallies (violent trembling of the body due to out of control fright) on a daily basis.
  3. Hang Out With The Cobras- The Cobras, also known as John McNab's beer drinking, smoking, farting, cursing, burping friends are just about the most intimidating group in the West End. Unless you want to get thrown around, shoved or punched, it is highly recommended that you steer clear of the Cobras.
  4. Go Into The Opposite End, Especially At Night- Both Ends of Two Mills are not so friendly to one another, at all. Don't get caught in the opposite end of town without some type of adult with you, especially at night.

Stop By Cobble's Corner To Get Some of Your Favorite Foods

Cobble's Corner is on the corner of Hector and Birch Street, and has a ton of great foods. Cobble's Corner also has, or had the Impossible Knot, a dried, crusty knot in a string that nobody but me could untie. Check out the awesome foods down at Cobble's Corner!

People And Places To Stay Away From

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The Opposite End

Everybody knows that you should not go into the opposite end, especially at night. Bad things can happen. If you don't know how to defend yourself, you're in big trouble if you are caught in the wrong end at the wrong time.

Nice People Around Two Mills

Hector Street

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The Dividing Line

Hector Street is more than just the street that holds Cobble's Corner, Hector Street is a grand dividing line. it sits in the exact center of Two Mills, and separates the East End from the West End. The whites from the blacks. It is interesting how if you are walking down Hector Street, you are not white, nor black. Not in the East End, or the West End. Not separated.

Four Things To Know About Hector Street Are:

  1. Stay in the center to be neither black or white. To be the person in the middle, who doesn't want to be a part of either side.
  2. Hector Street divides Two Mills into the East End and The West End. Hector Street is in the exact middle of Two Mills.
  3. For most bullies like John McNab and Mars Bar Thompson, they will be less able to catch you while you are running down Hector Street out of the fear that they will accidentally cross over into the other End of Two Mills.
  4. On Hector Street sits Cobble's Corner, the pizzeria that is the home of Cobble's Knot, the most tangled knot in Two Mills, if not the world.

Sports Tips

Here in Two Mills, sports are a big deal! Play a game of your favorite sport, and you will be guaranteed to have a great time if you follow these simple guidelines:

  1. Bunt It- If you're playing baseball and John McNab is about to throw you a frog-ball, be sure to bunt it to a) save the frog (yes, it is an actual frog) and b) get a slamming home run!
  2. Befriend- If you want to become a star football player in Two Mills, you're probably going to need to make friends with some people who are already great at football. Getting friendly with Hands Down, a star quarterback in Two Mills will really do you well in the game of football.
  3. Play-ball- Just not with John McNab. McNab is a sore loser who will most likely try to hunt you down and beat you up if you surpass him in even the slightest way.
  4. Join A Team- There are so many great sports teams here in Two Mills! Getting on a sports team will help you get better at your sport by knowing exactly what to do in every game.
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