NEW EPIDEMIC THREATENS OUR FUTURE
THE DANGERS OF THE READING VIRUS
THERE IS A TERRORIST!
There has recently been a dangerous epidemic that the world must join together in an effort to fight and eradicate completely. This danger to our well being, a truly despicable thief of our time has been discovered and revealed for what it is. Carried and transmitted by a virus called Books-and-Kindles, it mercilessly attacks an unsuspecting person and makes a slave out of them, weakening their immune systems and leaving them susceptible to other sickeningly terrible diseases like Knowledge, Information, and Independent Analytical Thinking - the last being the worst of them all. The Carrier of this dreadful illness has been found to breed in places called Libraries. One must endeavour to stay away from this places and avoid all contact, both verbal and physical, with persons that may frequent such establishments.
Oh No! Now What?
Attention please... WE have some GOOD News....
However, all is not completely doomed. The search for the salvation of the world had been left in the trustworthy and capable hands of our medicine men and they have discovered it. Our esteemed doctors have once again dedicated their time and energy to concoct a means that will deliver humanity from the clutches of this terrifying future. They have devised a get-one-get-all foolproof medication that will both be a preventive and curative means to destroy this terrorist. This bundle includes substances like Movies, Virtual Games,Google, Social Media and Wi-Fi. Due to the urgency of this situation, the government has made it available at Everywhere and the price is conducive to all regardless of class, age, gender or race. The label to look for is Smart Phones, Televisions, iPads and Computer.
Everyone else has already made the simple and wise decision to purchase, and religiously follow the dosage which instructs all to spend all their free time and then some for the use of these miraculous healing elements. Join us as we endeavor to ensure that the world revolves around its axis just right- nothing short of perfection.