Local News Update

Dallas Beard!

This just in--- Beard guy is rly cute?????

Woah! Lately, many people in the triangle are talking about local cutie Dallas Beard. "Oh, yeah, his bone structure is great. He's gonna be hot when he's older", says local college student Elizabeth Cielo. High schoolers love him too: "Oh yeah, I'd butt rape Dallas. Look at that ass", says local teenager Myer Lainhart, student from Heritage High School. "[you guys] are so cute!" says another high schooler named Jordan. "He's so funny!" "If he didn't have a girlfriend... mmmm" "He's so sweet omgggggg!" "Nice butt hot stuff". All of these are common comments among people in the area. What a guy! Pictures of Mr. Beard are below.

Oh my gosh! What a raging cutie!

In Conclusion... Dallas Beard is one of the best people in the world. He is greatly appreciated and everyone loves him. Plus, he's super duper cute and I want to kiss him, like, all the time. Woah. <3 (literally all the time).