Dating Pressure & Emotional Abuse
Hurtful words become invisible scars
What is it?
- Dating Pressure: the beliefs about how your life and relationship "should" be going, how your significant other "should" act, etc.
- Emotional Abuse: regular pattern of verbal offense, threatening, bullying, and constant criticism
Where does it come from?
- Comes from people's own belief system and how things "should" go
- These limiting beliefs create a feeling of pressure to act a certain way or to do something a certain way
- The emotional abuser often times have childhood wounds and insecurities they haven't properly dealt with yet, which results in them abusing their significant other
- The abuser in the relationship didn't learn about healthy coping mechanisms or how to have positive, healthy relationships
- Their anger, fear, hurt, and powerlessness are used in the form of emotional abuse
What's so significant about it?
Short Term Effects
- Poor performance in school
- Attitude change
- Put blame on themselves
Long Term Effects
- Emotional trauma
- Low self-esteem, self value, & personal value
- Personality change
Here are several warning signs of your significant other that you should be aware of to know if you are in an abusive/pressurized relationship:
- Forces you to do things you're uncomfortable with
- Refuses to take "No" for an answer
- Says "If you really loved me you would..."
- Quick attachment
- Frightening temper
- Kills your self-confidence
- Blames you for everything
- Isolates you from your family and friends
- Gets jealous for no apparent reason
- Controls you
What you can do:
- Stand up for yourself & know your rights
- Talk to significant other about feelings, expectations, & future for relationship
- Talk to someone outside your situation (ex: counselor)
- Build self-esteem, confidence, and your identity
- Find someone who loves you & respects you
- SAY "NO"
- Recognize it's happening, but don't feel embarrassed
- Speak to licensed counselor to rebuild self-esteem
- Reclaim your power by putting your needs first, set some firm boundaries, and don't engage in their abuse
- Develop an exit plan (ex: save money, look for a place to live, etc.)
- Keep some distance between you and your significant other
- Possibly leave relationship with help of others if necessary
- KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME
For more information: