Dating Pressure & Emotional Abuse
Hurtful words become invisible scars
What is it?
- Dating Pressure: the beliefs about how your life and relationship "should" be going, how your significant other "should" act, etc.
- Emotional Abuse: regular pattern of verbal offense, threatening, bullying, and constant criticism
Where does it come from?
Dating Pressure
- Comes from people's own belief system and how things "should" go
- These limiting beliefs create a feeling of pressure to act a certain way or to do something a certain way
Emotional Abuse
- The emotional abuser often times have childhood wounds and insecurities they haven't properly dealt with yet, which results in them abusing their significant other
- The abuser in the relationship didn't learn about healthy coping mechanisms or how to have positive, healthy relationships
- Their anger, fear, hurt, and powerlessness are used in the form of emotional abuse
What's so significant about it?
1 in 3 young adults (ages 14-20) experienced an abusive or unhealthy relationship. Many people who suffer from unhealthy relationships have experienced short and long term effects that can alter their personality & life caused by dating pressure and emotional abuse. Several of these effects include:
Short Term Effects
- Poor performance in school
- Attitude change
- Put blame on themselves
Long Term Effects
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Emotional trauma
- Low self-esteem, self value, & personal value
- Dependency
- Personality change
- Aggressiveness
Warning Signs:
Here are several warning signs of your significant other that you should be aware of to know if you are in an abusive/pressurized relationship:
Dating Pressure:
- Forces you to do things you're uncomfortable with
- Refuses to take "No" for an answer
- Says "If you really loved me you would..."
Emotional Abuse:
- Quick attachment
- Frightening temper
- Kills your self-confidence
- Blames you for everything
- Isolates you from your family and friends
- Gets jealous for no apparent reason
- Controls you
What you can do:
Dating Pressure
- Stand up for yourself & know your rights
- Talk to significant other about feelings, expectations, & future for relationship
- Talk to someone outside your situation (ex: counselor)
- Build self-esteem, confidence, and your identity
- Find someone who loves you & respects you
- SAY "NO"
Emotional Abuse
- Recognize it's happening, but don't feel embarrassed
- Speak to licensed counselor to rebuild self-esteem
- Reclaim your power by putting your needs first, set some firm boundaries, and don't engage in their abuse
- Develop an exit plan (ex: save money, look for a place to live, etc.)
- Keep some distance between you and your significant other
- Possibly leave relationship with help of others if necessary
- KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME
Stop Teen Dating Violence Skit
For more information:
Resources:
- http://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/types-of-abuse/#tab-id-2
- http://liveboldandbloom.com/11/relationships/signs-of-emotional-abuse
- http://www.womenhelpingwomen.org/what-is-abuse/teen-dating-violence/
- http://www.cbsnews.com/news/teen-dating-violence-resources-for-teens-and-parents/
- https://thatsnotcool.com/digital-abuse-cyber-bullying-statistics/#parents-out-of-touch
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOONYWxDTFU
- http://erikaawakening.com/too-much-pressure-dating-and-relationships/
- http://abigailbarry1.blogspot.com/2016/03/pituitary-tumor-emotional-abuse-carer.html