Come One, Come All!

America Awaits


Are you sick and tired of your current form of government? Do you long for good crops and a high profit not currently available? Looking for a new life? Then come on over to The New World!!! There's plenty of free land and space here to grow crops and settle a new family (if you don't mind the pesky savage/ Indians currently inhabiting the land). So what are you waiting for? Come to the New World, satisfaction guaranteed!!

(This offer is not available at your local marketplace, age and gender restrictions apply. Disadvantages include wars against native American Indians, plague, colonization problems and/or society upheaval. The New World is not responsible for any Native American-related injuries. Results may very.)

Why Should I Care?

Good question; why should you care about coming to the New World? Well, think about all the possibilities: There is so much free land in the New World, and almost none here. Think of all that land just waiting there for you to harvest your finest crops and build your homes. Think of freshly harvested tobacco, and how profitable it will make the new society. Besides, why stay here in stuffy old Europe when you could be a free new person in the New World? There will be no dramatic plagues caused by infected rats, no Spanish Reconquista, no religious battles over the Roman Catholic and the Protestant church- none of that. Leave all those woes behind and start a new life in this amazing country of the New World.
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There are so many benefits waiting for you once you arrive in the New World. You will realize that unlike Europe, there is so much landscape here. It is here that you will be provided with bountiful acres of trees and vegetation that will provide you more than enough wood to build your property and food to eat. And because there is so much space available, you will never feel the need to be claustrophobic ever again. In addition to free land you also have the option to grow plantations and crops in order to provide for yourself and your people. By establishing a society that depends on these crops you can easily see success grow during the next few months provided that good weather conditions are included. It may take time, but eventually your society will expand and become an independent nation. You and your people will have the opportunity to establish your own rules on religion and economy depriving yourself from the more strict ones in the Old World. You won't find any of this in Europe, so why not try it out for yourself?
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Of course, everything good comes with a price. Groups of people called Native Americans have been cultivating in the New World for a longer time than we have, but now that is all about to change. Those barbarians stand no chance against you when you arrive in the New World. Their own provincial methods of weaponry are almost nothing compared to your guns and swords. More importantly, what good can they do use? They have all our rules and morales completely backwards! The very least they can do for us is work for us once we claim the new land as our own. And if they do decide to plan war against us, no problem: they are simple savages that compare nothing to the superior minds of us.

Citations and Sources

  • n.d.the bennet plantation.[illustration]
  • "The First 'Americans'" note sheet
  • Vernier.n.d.Conference Between the French and Indian Leaders Around a Ceremonial Fire.[Illustration]