My Modest Proposal

By Bobby Coleman

The Problem

There are too many people judging parents like me for having babies and not being married. I think all of those married people should go jump off a bridge. I am a nice looking woman. why should I tie myself down to one man, when there's all of these gorgeous guys I could choose to get me pregnant and have more than one baby by. I love the freedom of having sex with whomever I want, I don’t have to worry about my baby looking like the same guy all the time. I mean look at that sexy dread head guy lil Wayne he got like ten baby mom-mas, and if I get married I ruin a chance of bein' one of them. I'm glad it’s so easy to pop out babies because with the more I have, the more money I can get when its tax return time.
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The proposal/ The solution

My proposal is to ban marriage for all people, especially at weddings. People that have babies by the same people should be surgically fixed and banned to have kids. Also, all wedding rings should be banned from the market. There are too many married people now days. I need more hot guys on the market. One of my best friends just got married, man all I need is one night with her husband, I bet he can rock my world.
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The plan

My plan is when a female have a baby at the hospital, the doctors can check how many kids she had plus who is on the birth certificate. If its the same father as any of the other kids the woman would be fixed into a guy right away. The baby will be killed and they cant claim the child on tax. Also I would put no marriage law in the constitution so marriage could be banned. There will be no weddings and if a person does try anything, they will be committed to someone and they will be fined. Trust me we will find all of you and you would be known as Churches will be back to normal churches.
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The Advantages

The Four advantages to my proposal is we will have no more people tied down to a husbands or wives that they don't like. This will allow people to do whatever they want. The second advantage is that women will be scared to try and beat the system because they will wake up with a penis. This will allow a person that’s not good looking to get a date every now and then. Because eventually everyone would have dated. My third advantage will help people have more money in their pocket because they don't have to worry about a stupid wedding on mars. This can cause a debt to a bank account. My fourth advantage will be that people don't have to worry about their kids looking the same because they all will have different dads.

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The Expedients

People who don't follow the rules won’t live a good life; they will be in trouble with the law because marriage will be against the Constitution. They will have to pay costly fines and face jail time. The government will not help parents who are on the list of married couples. Me and my friends will call a woman ratchet real quick if she got the same baby daddy. While at the same time we will be trying to show her husband what the good life is.

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The conclusion

Well the real reason why a girl like me is against marriage, is because I need my child support money. And the more man that are married the less chance I get of getting me a sugar daddy, who can get me pregnant. Guys are so dumb. With my proposal plan I can get lots of child support and live life good.
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