Wellness Wednesday
Confrontation Edition
Handling Confrontation
Here are 6 steps to Healthy Confrontation:
1) Find the core issue:
In order to confront something, you need to be aware of what the issue is.
Ex: "I notice you call me idiot or stupid, and even though you're joking, I don't want to be called those things."
2) Allow the reaction:
-When confronted, some people have an intense stress response and they become highly defensive or reactive.
-Focus on slow breathing, and remain calm. The only thing you can control is your response.
3) Don't go into over-explaining:
-If someone goes into invalidation ("You're way too sensitive") don't over-explain.
-You don't need to defend yourself.
4) Stand firm in the Boundary:
-You might need to repeat it if necessary.
Ex: "I understand you probably didn't notice you were doing that, or meant it in a light-hearted way, but I don't want to be talked to that way."
5) Don't engage in any character attacks:
-The goal of a healthy confrontation is to bring to light an issue and to come to a conclusion of how you'll go forward.
-Not to hurt someone's feelings or project your anger at them.
6) Self Soothe:
-Confrontation is highly activating for our nervous system and some people it can be completely overwhelming.
-Take care of yourself after:
--> Go for walk
--> Take some deep breaths
--> Let yourself cry.