Oberon's Love Advice

Josh Green

Dear Oberon,

I have read your column for years, but I never thought that I would be writing to you. I've tried going to meetings of " Women who love too much" but I'm still hurting, so I thought maybe you could help me. My problem is that the guy I love doesn't want to be in the same room with me. sincerely, desperate peasant

Dear Desperate peasant,

love advice

It sounds like you are a low life, depressed, desperate, and in a mid- life crisis right now, but I have some advice that just might help. You are definitely one of the hardest people to help, but I can help you. If what I tell you won't help, I don't know what will.

Basically, what you need to do may be kind of hard, but you need to find Cupid's Lair. It will have his arrows in the lair, but you have to be very quiet. He may hear you. By the way, the lair is in the magic forest. Make sure you hit Demetrius with the arrow and that you be the first one he sees. If he sees something else, he will love that.

Another thing you can do is make him very jealous. You can get a very handsome boyfriend or have something that he wants very much. He might love you. The bad thing is that he might not love you for who you are.

In closing, if you want Demetrius to love you, you need to do these things. So you need to get Cupid's arrows and make Demetrius jealous. Hope you do well and good luck.