Week 4: Show me your nessssstttt
IT IS SUITABLE
****IMPORTANT LEAGUE ISSUE CONCERNING THE WAIVER WIRE****
HOW HAS NO ONE ADDED #21 YET?!?!?!?!
In other news....
Line of the Night
Tuesday: Joan Smoothers: 3g, 5a, -1, 20pim, 1ppp, 29sog, 28fw, 16hit, 12blk, 1.00gaa, 26sv, .963sv%
Wednesday: Cat Pasey: 3g, 4a, +4, 2pim, 3ppp, 15sog, 12fw, 13hit, 5 blk, 2.88gaa, 17sv, .850sv%
Thursday: Cat Pasey: 3g, 2a, +2, 3ppp, 15sog, 26fw, 17hit, 2blk
Friday: Dangleberry Droplets: 5g, 5a, +2, 8pim, 3ppp, 18sog, 32fw, 14hit, 5blk, 1.46gaa, 56sv, .949sv%, 1sho
Saturday: NeonDion PewpMachine: 5g, 4a, -1, 8pim, 2ppp, 27sog, 52fw, 13hit, 6blk, 21sv, 1sho
Sunday: Dangleberry Droplets: 2g, 4a, +3, 8pim, 1ppp, 17sog, 1fw, 7hit, 2.77gaa, 33sv, .917sv%
Week 4 Matchups
Happy Hour strikes back (ELBOWs 11, Malkin-g 1):
I really thought I screenshotted one of Austin's snap chats, but apparently I missed it. I'm sure you can all guess it though - a table of JD shotzzzz and beow with the caption that went something like "this might be why I'm losing this week..but I'm not sure". Well, Austin did sit 1g, 1a, +1, 2pim, 13sog, 8fw, 4hit, and 1blk on Friday between Stamkos and Vanek, but it clearly didn't matter as that would have made the matchup....10-2 (but very close to 8-2).
Just shut the fuck up Ryan ;p (Droplets 6, Cat's 5):
I'll just cut to the important part: Sunday night - Matt did his hipster HF sleuthing and picked up rookie goalie Reto Berra vs the Hawks - highly aggressive but there was no other choice. Well, a shutout would've iced it for Matt, but a 2gaa game with no goals from Ryan also would've given him the victory. Well, Ryan had that doucher Patrick Kane going, which meant that after Berra got scored on once, the only thing that could have given Ryan the victory is if Kane scored. Wel........Kane scored. Of fucking course. I'm sure Ryan was giggling his hairless little butt off with a THC lollipop in his mouth for the celly Sunday night. BUT, let's not forget that Matt sat 1g, 1a, 4sog, 4fw, and 1blk on Monday evening. Sooo....poop's on you? Either way, Ryan is now 2-1-1, and both of his wins have either been handed to him unearned, or achieved through his rastafarian dark arts voodoo magic. Unbelievable.
Daem. (Beast 6, Pasey 5):
Ender's best players were Backstrom (3g, 1a) and Crosby (5a, 55fw), and got pretty consistent team-wide contributions otherwise. Which is ironic, because in our Monday night in-house game Mike was not all about contribution.
In the Battle of Flavor Country, Phillip Morris wins again (Joan 7, Fiber 6):
Chris had some WWW as well, as he snagged a couple rare goals from original ELBOWs draft pick Paul Stastny.
Pete claims first victory from autopilot-at-large Charzy (PewpMachine 10, Bonerz 3):
Week 4 Awards
Horseshoes and Hand Grenades: The Cat's Meow, Fiber Frenzy, Cat Pasey
Harken da Wahmberlamps: The Cat's Meow
Tight butthole: Dangleberry Droplets
Desk Pop: THAT IS NOT AN ELBOW
Week 5 Predictions
Dead Dangles: Dead Dangles sounds like Ryan's game right now ;p Austin if you go rogue again and hand Ryan another undeserved victory I'm going to drive to SJ and hang you upside down by your dick. And then we'll take shots. Malkin-g 13, Droplets -2
Hot Ice Meowz: Mmmm, I'm gonna predict this victory based on the golfing odds between these two: Beast 8, Cat's 4
Pewp Smoothers: Pete is still pretty crippled, and although Brian has dropped off somewhat, I think he still has enough power to step over Pete's slovenly body whlie uttering something along the lines of 'beat it, hobo'. Joan 7, PewpMachine 5
Pasey Boner: Charlie is interestingly leading this matchup by a decent margin, but I don't see that happening for long. Pasey 8, Zamz 3