What will YOUR legacy be?
“Kids are are loud and messy and intense, and that’s how they are supposed to be.” Kerwin Rae
A video from Kerwin popped up in my feed a while back, and it speaks to two things that research around behavior is proving- If they (kids) could do it (behave), they would; and that Nurtured Heart helps teach what behavior we expect in a way that builds inner wealth, self-control, and self-regulation in our children.
Although Rae doesn't specifically name Nurtured Heart, his message echos the strategies, and gives us all permission, to shift how we look at children and languaging and energy and emotions and teaching and behavior and boundaries and regulation and quality of presence and connection to build strong, resilient humans counter to what most of us have been taught.
Kerwin states, “Our job as parents is to allow our children to find the boundaries safely. What a child needs most is a calm parent in the midst of a storm to get down on one knee and grab them and bring them in and just hold them and say it’s gonna be okay…just breathe...just breathe. Children can feel the quality of your presence and will push buttons until they get the energy of connection- good or bad.”
Some of the information in the video and the preceding paragraph might be making your head hurt. Aren’t we supposed to “Absolutely NO” behaviors that we want to lessen? Yup. Isn’t getting down on one knee really juicy? Yup. But as you are probably figuring out, there are nuances to Nurtured Heart that you can only figure out through practice and reflection. If your child struggles with BIG Emotions and how to deal with them, give them the safe space of your arms and walk them through the storm. Your arms could be literal or figurative, depending on your child's age and emotions. Be sure to follow up with “Absolutely YES!” of what you see them exhibiting- self-control, reflection, maturity, self-awareness, depth, insightfulness, etc (stand 2).
I believe the video is well worth the 3:52 minute investment! (warning- there are a few "colorful" words)!
Have a great week!
To your (& your child's) Greatness, Significance, & Humanity!!!
Amy and Karla