Dragons Dig Deep ~ November ~
A Mental Health & Wellness Newsletter from CHS Counselors
Teaching Kindness and Compassion
Our mission in Carroll ISD is to support and promote kindness and to create opportunities for students to practice being kind and compassionate.
The Science of Kindness
Kindness is Teachable and Contagious: The positive effects of kindness are experienced in the brain of everyone who witnessed the act, improving their mood and making them significantly more likely to “pay it forward.” This means one good deed in a crowded area can create a domino effect and improve the day of dozens of people!
Kindness Increases:
Happiness: Witnessing acts of kindness produces oxytocin, occasionally referred to as the ‘love hormone’ which aids in lowering blood pressure and improving our overall heart-health. Oxytocin also increases our self-esteem and optimism, which is extra helpful when we’re in anxious or shy in a social situation. Kindness stimulates the production of serotonin. This feel-good chemical heals your wounds, calms you down, and makes you happy!
ENERGY: “About half of participants in one study reported that they feel stronger and more energetic after helping others; many also reported feeling calmer and less depressed, with increased feelings of self-worth” Christine Carter, UC Berkeley, Greater Good Science Center
LIFESPAN: “People who volunteer tend to experience fewer aches and pains. Giving help to others protects overall health twice as much as aspirin protects against heart disease.” Christine Carter, Author, “Raising Happiness; In Pursuit of Joyful Kids and Happier Parents”
Kindness Decreases
PAIN: Engaging in acts of kindness produces endorphins—the brain’s natural painkiller!
STRESS: Perpetually kind people have 23% less cortisol (the stress hormone) and age slower than the average population!
ANXIETY: A group of highly anxious individuals performed at least six acts of kindness a week. After one month, there was a significant increase in positive moods, relationship satisfaction and a decrease in social avoidance in socially anxious individuals. University of British Columbia Study
DEPRESSION: Stephen Post of Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine found that when we give of ourselves, everything from life satisfaction to self- realization and physical health is significantly improved. Mortality is delayed, depression is reduced and well-being and good fortune are increased.
BLOOD PRESSURE: Committing acts of kindness lowers blood pressure. According to Dr. David R. Hamilton, acts of kindness create emotional warmth, which releases a hormone known as oxytocin. Oxytocin causes the release of a chemical called nitric oxide, which dilates the blood vessels. This reduces blood pressure and, therefore, oxytocin is known as a “cardioprotective” hormone. It protects the heart by lowering blood pressure.
Rachel’s Challenge:
Maintaining healthy friendships and peer relationships
Friendships play a pivotal role in developing self- confidence and social skills and are known to impact academic success.
How to help teens navigate healthy friendships:
· Model healthy relationships with others. The #1 place where teens learn about relationships is in their families. What they learn from and experience with parents and siblings has a lot of influence on how they find and get along with friends.
· Maintain a positive relationship. When parents have positive relationships with their teens, their teens are more likely to form more positive relationships with their peers..
· Encourage positive friendships. You can welcome your teen’s friends to your home, support them doing things together, and encourage participation in activities with positive peer groups, such as school activities, youth programs, and religious activities.
· Teach friendship skills. Help your teen learn to strike up a conversation with someone new, show empathy and support to a friend, listen and ask questions, resolve conflicts, set appropriate boundaries, and other skills that lead to positive, meaningful relationships with peers.
· Know your teen’s friends. Keep track of where teens spend time, who they’re with, and what they’re doing. Then you have the opportunity to ask questions or offer additional encouragement for the friendships, depending on the situation.
· Express concerns, ask questions, and set limits, when necessary. If you are uncomfortable with some friends and do not believe they are a positive influence, talk about your concerns with your teen, teaching him or her how to think about relationships. Be open and willing to listen to what your teen has to say about these friends, and also talk about what makes you nervous.
· Create an inviting home for friends. Make your home a place where your teen’s friends like to hang out. (Snacks always help!) Get to know them while they are relaxed and open to conversation. If there are activities they want to attend together, offer to drive or supervise the outing.
· Do pay attention to warning signs. If teens are hanging out with people who are much older, or if they are overly secretive about friends and what they are doing, monitor the situation more closely. Be less enthusiastic about these friendships, since your teen will sense your concern. If you have reason to suspect harmful activities (such as premature sexual activity, alcohol, tobacco, or other drug use), be assertive and clear about your concerns and your expectations.
· Connect with your teen’s friends’ parents. Get to know the parents or guardians of your teen’s friends. You will often find that they share your values and priorities and that you can work together to ensure that the friendships are positive for everyone.
· Practice peer pressure resistance strategies. Role-play different scenarios with teens so they have practice saying “no” in difficult situations. This strategy can help your teen be prepared and know how to respond when a sticky situation comes up. Focus on strengthening these resistance strategies:
· Share your perspective with your teen. When talking about a friend who you believe may be a negative influence, focus on the friend’s behaviors, not on his personality. For example, instead of calling your teen’s friend irresponsible for smoking, you could point out that the behavior has a negative effect on the friend’s health and recommend ways for your teen to help the friend quit.
· Set boundaries. Teens can want to spend all their time with their friends or with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Insist that they also spend time at home and meet their other responsibilities. Be sure your teen participates in family gatherings and events (potentially inviting a friend to come along sometimes).
· Investigate if your teen doesn’t have friends. Some young people are introverted and don’t want or need a lot of friends. But spending a lot of time alone and not having any friends can also be a warning sign that your teen is isolated or having trouble with peer relationships. Ask about it. Check with teachers or other school personnel to see if they have concerns. (Sometimes teens interact well at school, but need alone time at home.) Losing interest in friends for several weeks may indicate depression or other issues. You may also consider seeking help from a counselor if your concerns persist.
· Keep your relationship a top priority. When parents have positive relationships with their teens, their teens are more likely to form more positive relationships with their peers, including healthy romantic relationships. A positive parent-teen relationship is one that is warm, caring, and emotionally open while also setting boundaries and having high expectations. Even if you are concerned about friends and their influence, do not let your worries drive a wedge between you and your teen. Work hard to maintain your relationship, even while expressing your worries. When you express concerns, be sure to reinforce your love for your teen. Your influence will be greater in the long run if you do what you can to maintain a positive relationship.
How to Be a Good Friend!
Practice Empathy: It is being able to see things from another person’s viewpoint, even if you have never experienced it yourself.
Being There for Friends: When a friend calls you needing something, try to be the one who is there for them.
Laugh and Have Fun: A good sense of humor and being able to share experiences is part of friendship and good relationships.
How to Be a Good Friend!
Be Loyal: When it comes to building positive long-lasting relationships, loyalty is king.
Listen: Everyone wants to be listened to. Active listening means exhibiting listening behaviors, such as leaning toward the person when they are talking, replying with a statement, and other attributes.
How to Be a Good Friend!
Understand and respect boundaries: Good friends aren’t pushy and don’t get upset because of an occasional “no.” In fact, good friends know how to pick up right where they left off no matter how long it’s been since they last saw each other.
Introduce them to others: Your social circle might be tightly knit, but there’s always room for expansion.
Learn how to apologize: It takes a lot to admit you did something wrong. Don’t be afraid of admitting to your friends that you messed up.
Important Dates and Information
November 11- Veterans' Day Assembly
November 13- World Kindness Day
November 18- Adopt an Angel for Christmas is for Children (5 service hours)
November 25-29- No School/ Thanksgiving Break
Officer Pugsley says, "Be Kind!"
CHS Counselors- we're here to help!
Mrs. Watson: A - D
Mrs. McCoy: E - K
Mrs. Piriano: L - Q
Mrs. Cuellar: R - Z
Mrs. Hunt: Intervention Counselor