Healthy and Clean: A How-To
Soldiers, take heed!
Many soldiers have recently suffered from diseases such as dysentery, lice, and other infections of the like. This is a direct effect of the cleanliness policies the army has in place not being enforced. Doing so keeps everything clean and tidy and prevents disease from spreading. Follow the simple steps below to keep you and your neighbor happy and healthy.
Tip 1
Wash those hands, men! Soldiering can be a dirty business. Make sure every trace of dirt, grime, and blood is off your hands before you give your bud a pat on the back for surviving another battle.
Tip 2
Wash that beautiful face, soldier! Water will not only keep your skin silky smooth, the most natural moisturizer there is, but if there's any grime on your face, it could get into your mouth or nose and get you sick. Washing your face takes care of that.
Tip 3
Take a full bath at least once a week! It's good to check yourself for any missed wounds, so if you see some fancy new bruise or gaping hole in your stomach, get it checked out by a nurse as soon as you're done giving your ears a good scrubbing.
Keep yourself ship-shape to help get our country back in ship-shape!
Additional Tips
Army rations are tough, but don't eat anything that could make you sick. Make sure you know what's in it and whether or not it's a spoiled before you take a bite of your friend's "Surprise Soup".
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