Where Would You Be Without Boys

Tanya's Lani Boo Boo Kins (Alana Block)

What To Do!?!?

Dear Tanya's Lani Boo Boo Kins,

I have read your column for years, but i have never thought that i would be writing to you. Ive tried go to meanings of "Women who love too much" but im still hurting, so i thought maybe you could help me. My problem is that the guy i love doesnt want to be in the same room with me, but its that he is in love with my best friend. What should i do? My best friend is in love with another guy and that guy is in love with me!

Sincerely,

The Confused One

My Issues

We Need To Talk About This

Dear The Confused One,

I hear you have major boy problems. So this is what i heard. You want Demetrius, Demetrius, wants Hermia, Hermia wants Lysander, and Lysander wants you. Wow!! You have some major problems.

The first thing i think you should do is go to the love fairy. The best thing she could do for you is she could fix your problem; she could make Demetrius like you, she could find a place for y'all to live, and she could make y'all happy together. The worst thing is she could make your problem worse.

Your second resort would be to tell your best friend Helena. The pro about telling her is she could help you and she could understand and not care that you like the guy that loves her or the WORST thing she could do is she could get mad and flip out. She could go and tell Demetrius that you like him.

Now save this for your LAST RESORT!!!!!! You could kidnap the dude you like and make him like you. A good thing about kidnapping him is he could either get along with you and date you or he could run away and tell everyone you are a psychopath.

In conclusion i think your best bet would be to go to the love fairy i mean she is the LOVE fairy and all. She is probably the only one who can really help you. I mean really you have some MAJOR problems she needs to help you with.

Sincerely,

Tanya's Lani Boo Boo Kins