Self Help Improvement

How to Avoid the Empty Feeling for the Holidays

Dennis Won considered himself a loser. He was forty years old, single, and caught in a dead end job. This reality made him bitter and negative. He tried to make friends; however, his personality repelled people. As Won grew more depressed, he wondered when his negative circumstances would change.


Are you feeling a little anxious during the holiday season due to the uncertainty of your feelings and your past failures? Some people found themselves living on the litmus tests of others when it comes to success. Controlling parents issue mandates to children to reach for unrealistic expectations. Managers lash out to others. Additionally, ‘so called friends’ dish out criticisms in the hopes of making other folks feel small.

Life without purpose continues to plague humanity. In fact, it can be deadly or lead to drastic decisions. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), suicide was the eleventh leading cause of death in 2004. Given this scenario, people who feel that they have lost their purpose become more vulnerable. As a matter of fact, it is estimated that eight to 25 attempted suicides occur per every suicide death. Some key indicators in attempting suicide include gender, age, ethnicity, and extreme life change. The risk factors include depression and other mental disorders.

More than 90% of people who die from suicide deal with stressful events, according to NIMH. Armed with these negative beliefs of a wasted life, individuals confine themselves to a premeditated future of gloom. In fact, the more that individual repeats these self-limiting thoughts, the more they become trapped in their ways. Almost two centuries ago, Samuel Johnson said, “When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, he concentrates his mind wonderfully.” Therefore, people need to establish a renewal process.

Individuals need to make the most out of life. To do this, one must feel that life has some significance. In fact, there’s something special about having a reason for existence. In 1946, Dr. Viktor Frankl wrote a book, Man’s Search for Meaning, which embodied the concept of purpose. As a prisoner in a Nazi death camp, Dr. Frankl developed a revolutionary approach called logotheraphy, which outlined that man’s primary motivational force is searching for meaning.

Dr. Frankl, an author and psychiatrist, had first-hand experience in suffering. His wife, father, mother, and brother all died in camps or were sent to the gas chambers. Only Dr. Frankl and his sister survived. How could Frankl go on when everything seemed to turn against him—loss of family and possessions, loss of dignity, mental and physical torture, and the constant threat of death? Like Dr. Pausch, Dr. Frankl used his purpose to sustain himself. Therefore, no matter what the obstacle, an individual can be renewed by a sense of purpose. The following questions are offered to start this renewal process:

· Are you frustrated enough to want something different and move in a positive direction?

· Are you willing to leave behind any negative thoughts or individuals in your life?

· Have you seriously thought about your Divine calling?

· Are you willing to invest the time and energy for your new self-discovery?

· Are you willing to get help from professionals such as personal coaches or counselors who can help your transformation?

· Can you accept the consequences of making positive changes in your life?

· Will you ever be satisfied if you don’t find a meaningful existence?


Success begins when you take charge of your life. I personally don’t believe that anyone’s life is meaningless. Each individual is divinely made and uniquely created. However, individuals need to believe that they have purpose. In fact, no man-made program, self-help book, or motivational speaker can instill purpose. British historian and essayist Thomas Carlyle noted, “The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder -- waif, a nothing, a no man.

Have a purpose in life, and, having it, throw such strength of mind and muscle into your work as God has given you.” With a purpose, a person can bear the hardships of life. Successful people know what’s important but can be sidetracked if they don’t reevaluate themselves properly. Don’t wait any longer. Start today to build a great life, not a wasted one.

Dr. Daryl D. Green, an international management strategist, who writes on contemporary issues impacting businesses, society, and across the globe. With over 25 years of management experience, Dr. Green’s expertise has been noted and quoted by USA Today, Ebony Magazine, and Associated Press. His book, Job Strategies for the 21st Century: How to Assist Today’s College Students during Economic Turbulence, has been rated number one on For more information, you can go to

© 2015 by Daryl D. Green

Dr. Daryl D. Green writes on contemporary issues impacting businesses, society, and across the globe. For more information visit: