Using "I messaging"
4 must haves in an "I" statement
- Express what concerns you
- Use a non-blaming description of disruptive behavior
- Briefly state the tangible consequences of that behavior
- Provide an invitation to collaborate on a resolution
I am concerned about the type of toy's your son Billy plays with.
Billy frequently hits my son in the face with them. My son has had to get stitches as a result.
I'd like to work together to come up with alternative toys so our children can stay friends.
Think about the conversation first. Include these 4 parts as you move to action steps.
Create an "I" statement around this scenario
You are working as in intake worker taking phone calls for the day. A woman calls the agency and says her husband is really a dear. He has done many wonderful things for her, and she is feeling guilty about calling you, but he does keep her confined to the house an slaps her a lot. Use an "I" message to express your concern.