Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas

By James Patterson

Novel- Anna McPherson

In 2002, Katie Wilkinson, a New York City book editor, has a relationship with Matt Harrison ends suddenly. Shortly after, she receives a package from Matt, explaining if she reads what is enclosed, she will understand more about why he has behaved like he has, Katie learns about Matt's past through the diary of Dr. Suzanne Bedford, started in 2003 for her then unborn son Nicholas on Martha’s Vineyard. Throughout the novel, we go back and forth from Suzanne's life to Kate's. Suzanne knew she had a heart problem that would cause some complication if she tried to have a child. She had a heart attack which started the series of complications at the age of only 33. She fell quickly in love though, with Matt, an artist and a writer who painted houses to earn a little extra money. He proposed to her and she got pregnant not too long after. She was so excited to have a baby though no matter the complications.

The Tradgedy

Suzanne had the baby and was the best mother. Taking care of Nicholas, her son, was like second nature to her, and Matt had wanted a baby so badly. Matt celebrated his son’s four month birthday, by stringing up a banner and balloons. Suzanne had baby pictures done by a professional photographer and wanted to pick them up for his four month birthday to show Matt. So she went into town and took her son with her but had a heart attack on the way there and died before she crashed and her car went over the bridge into the stream below. Matt lost both Suzanne and Nicholas in the same day.

Matt gave this diary to Kate to explain why he was so distant with her. "Katie slipped down farther into the water, and found herself thinking back to the day she had received the diary—July 19.(pg. 4)." She understood more than ever about why he was acting the way he was acting. Suzanne was a wonderful mother the little time she had him, putting the baby first. She had this baby and basically sacrificed herself in order to not kill this child and give Matt a son. Matt lost two precious parts of his life. Kate was actually pregnant with Matt’s baby during the period she was reading this diary and gave Matt a second chance at a family, which he wanted very badly. So Kate became a mother herself and gave that chance to Matt, which helped fill the loss of what he used to have. Suzanne as a mother, even though it wasn’t for long, showed so much sacrifice and love by putting her son first. This novel was emotional and heartbreaking, but made Suzanne a great example of a mother despite her health.

Matt's Only Excerpt


"Hello, my sweet Nicholas, it's Daddy. I have to write this. I can't think of anything now, except that I have to talk to you. But this is so hard, little boy. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I let her leave, I didn't stop her. I didn't even go to her, I didn't even kiss her goodbye, Nicky. Because, you see, my sweet boy, Mommy had a heart attack on the way into town. Her car went through the guardrail at the cove. The doctor said she died before the crash, that she didn't feel any pain. I want to believe him. I wind up your music box and it begins to play. I reach into your crib and touch your sweet cheek. I reach into your crib and place an index finger into each of your little hands and watch you squeeze. You're very strong. But you're not in your crib, are you? Because you went with Mommy that day. She strapped you into your carseat and drove you to town. She wanted you to be the first to see your photographs."