Abandonment

by Ben Murphy

Get an Idea

“ Abandonment is not simply the wrenching loss of one or both parents through death, separation or divorce; it's also the emotional alienation caused by a distant or cold parent who's still in the home--the parent who's there but not there. The problem is that many people who have experienced some form of abandonment have no idea how greatly the loss affects them, day in and day out.” (Brenda Wade, Fear of Abandonment)

The Problem Today

The problem with abandonment today is the amount of victims it consumes every year, whether it's a death in the family or a parent that makes the decision to walk out on a child's life. This can cause some major depression, and the victim may blame themselves for the loss, say things to themselves like, “You’re not good enough.” Or “They left because i wasn't a good enough son/daughter.” “These thoughts can take a great emotional toll on the victim of abandonment.” (Brenda Wade, Fear of Abandonment)

Life With Abandonment

“The family life at home could change drastically depending on the situation. Parental abandonment creates change in the household which might take some serious adjustment, especially when what is taken away was such a big part of your life.” (Wade, Fear of Abandonment) i feel socially it can go two ways, the victim may become emotionally distant, or careless. Or the victim may become clingy and outgoing, desperately trying to fill the hole left by the emotional wound left by the departed factor, they may try hard to make friends or cling on to a person that ever so slightly resembles the one who left, physically or emotionally.
Dealing With Abandonment Issues

Previous knowledge

Abandonment can affect anybody. Abandonment is not a disease and may not happen by chance, Abandonment can stem from many different situations. if a parent walks out on a child, that is a choice, a choice that cant be made by the victim. The death of an important family member may cause a fear of abandonment. The victim may experience emotional changes or mood changes, they may feel lost or unwanted. different people handle this differently, they may close up and be very conservative, or they may open up to people, trying to fill a spot that was left empty when the departed left.

Conclusion

In conclusion, "the causes of emotional injury need to be understood and accepted so they can heal. Until that occurs, the pain will stay with them, becoming a driving force in their adult lives." (Claudia Black) Abandonment is a problem today and will continue to be a problem, all we can hope for is better treatment.